Love is a Disease Without A Cure
by KenthostheKitsune
Summary: Revised version of Love Sick. Starts from chapter 450. Warning: KyuuNaru. Due to unexplained circumstances Naruto falls ill, leaving his inner demon to care for him. Sucky summary I know, but the story is better than the summary. I promise.
1. Strange Feeling

Delicate crystallized stars lazily drifted through the bitter cold November wind, each individual design etching itself onto nature's many surfaces, turning the wood damp and spongy while the crisp reds, yellows, oranges and purples of the autumn leaves turned soggy and flimsy like a drowned cookie. The frozen stalks of grass lay concealed beneath the warm fall-shaded leaves, the tree droppings crunched under your feet while the melted flakes served as a make shift glue to stick the crumbs to the soles of your shoes.

It was far too early in the month for the snow to truly stay, so it wouldn't be long until it said goodbye once more to the earth on which it fell. However, that didn't mean one couldn't enjoy its brief, yet beautiful, display as the intricately cut ice fell from the heavens. Surprisingly the night's canvas was quite clear, the clouds few and far between as the sky's yellow splotches winked at the planet below as they died and were reborn once more. The moon sat comfortably with its many neighbors, its full form casting a pale sheen of light onto the earth below.

An unearthly white glow descended upon the old beaten terrain of training ground seven, the light brightening the white frost that was spray painted on the area's many facades. It appeared as though someone had just randomly picked up a can of spray paint and tagged every inch of green, brown, gray, and even black they could reach. The ever infamous memorial stone glimmered in the darkness of the late night hours as the moon gave life to the names embedded in the obsidian, each individual kanji lit up by the sphere's radiance.

Despite the slowly worsening weather conditions, three people could be spotted standing at the training field, seemingly waiting for a fourth member of their party to reveal themselves. There were two males and one female, the leader of the group lazily slouched by the hero's stone while the raven haired teen leaned heavily against one of the three posts, and finally, the girl with cotton candy pink hair sat in a lady-like manner on top of one of the remaining unoccupied poles.

Kakashi stood off to the side in front of the other two, the man standing at five feet eleven inches with a firm muscular build, his stormy gray yet slanted hair was kissed by the moon's rays as they turned the tips of it white. A dog's façade replaced his own in the form of a porcelain mask, its snout protruding from where his nose would be while razor sharp teeth were painted over his always covered lips. A black, sleeveless, turtle neck undershirt outfitted his torso before a gray, specialized type of armor covered it, giving his chest more protection from oncoming attacks while reinforced arm guards engulfed his arms to put more power to his punches. His long, slightly baggy pants matched his undershirt and the gloves under his guards, the bottom of them swathed in bandages.

His overall posture shrieked calm and aloof as he read, a thick orange hard back book with the words "Icha Icha Paradise" lay in his protected grip as he fingered the pages, his eyes trailing over the words intently. You'd think the man was reading the bible by how ridiculously protective he was of it. Then again, Icha Icha Paradise probably was Kakashi's version of the holy book if his perverted giggles were any indication.

The lone female member of the squad huffed in annoyance, denying herself the pleasure of snatching her captain's book and turning it into ashes with a well aimed fire jutsu as she crossed her seemingly delicate arms over her medium-sized chest. Hair that was comparable to cherry blossom petals was held back by a red Konoha bandana, the leaf insignia etched into the connected metal plating. Sea-green eyes peered out into the darkness, the girl trying to spot their missing teammate who was ten minutes late like he was some kind of mistake in one of those comparing picture games where you had to mark the differences between the two of them.

Sakura wore her own version of Konoha's jonin uniform, while she kept the pants relatively the same her flak jacket was a different story as it was a dark scarlet with her signature white circles stitched into the part that covered the tops of her arms, pink blossoms that inspired her namesake surrounded the bright green Konoha insignia that was smack dab in the center of the back instead of the orange swirl her comrades were known to possess. Instead of long sleeves, Sakura's were tailored to only go up to her elbows while bandages snaked around her appendages for protection. Overall it was a huge improvement from what she had worn when she was twelve. However, for this mission she had to don a black mask similar to her former sensei's and to hide her identity, her orbs like newly polished emeralds as they peeked out of the shadow of her bangs.

"Where do you think he is? He's never late to anything these days…especially missions."

"Hn…once a loser always a loser…he probably forgot and he's still sleeping or he's busy trying to stuff as many instant ramen cups into his backpack as he possibly can."

Kakashi's half-open eye resignedly crept over to the brooding raven's form, even though with his anbu mask on you wouldn't be able to tell.

"Maa…Sasuke you shouldn't be too hard on Naruto, he's matured more after you left…He thinks about more than salty noodles these days…"

((Holy shit have you all seen how much sodium is in those instant ramen cups? I don't know what brand you get, but the ones I used to eat had 900 milligrams of it-A.N))

Sasuke, the young man that had his mane of charcoal black hair styled to look like a chicken's ass chose to stay silent as he crossed his arms over his chest in silent defiance to his former sensei's words, although to the trained eye it looked as though he were pouting like a child who didn't get candy at the checkout lane in the supermarket.

The last Uchiha wore garb similar to Kakashi's, the key differences were that his mask depicted the face of a snake instead of a canine while a dark blue, almost black scarf hugged his pale slender neck like it was one of his fan girls. An ornately designed katana that was approximately 28 inches long hung at his waist in its scabbard, the handle swathed in black cloth while depictions of twin pythons twisted and curved around the sheath, their fangs bared to the world as their mouths met where the handle laid upon the case.

"Hn….whatever, but he has less than five minutes to get here or we'll have to leave him behind. We have to finish the mission with or without him."

Sakura couldn't help but giggle at the irony, causing her two male teammates to look at her in confusion.

"It's funny really…usually you would be the late one, sensei, but I guess you also taught us your nasty habit of being tardy."

"You got to admit she does have a point…"

The dog's shoulders slumped in mock hurt at his students' jab at his constant lateness; although by the tone of his voice you could tell that he took it in good stride.

"Maa maa…..you two are so cruel to your old sensei…at least I can count on Naruto to give me some ounce of respect."

Sakura couldn't help but roll her eyes at him then while simultaneously shaking her head.

"I have to call bull shit on that one, sensei. Naruto doesn't respect perverts."

"You kids just don't know what good literature is."

Sighing in apparent aggravation, Sasuke tapped his foot impatiently while trying to ignore the ongoing debate between the scarecrow and the cherry blossom, the returned raven mentally chanting to himself not to kill the dead-last of the class when, and if, he eventually arrived.

Soft, wheezing pants passed through slightly cracked lips before they bounced off the sleek ceramic inside of the mask that concealed his face and slid down the curve of it before his shallow breaths tickled his exposed throat, the teen too hot to wear his favorite red scarf he usually donned during his missions. He blended in with the shadows, melding with them perfectly as he leaped across the branches, his silent footsteps not so much as disturbing the leaves as the man flitted across the wooden obstacle course, dodging twigs and wayward squirrels as he jumped.

In spite of the chilly nose-nipping weather, Naruto found himself overheated as warmth seeped through his veins like thick molasses, the hot temperature suffocating him slowly but surely as he felt his body weaken further more. Every breath seemed to be a labor while his limbs felt like he had both Gai's and Lee's training weights on as he felt his feet drag and his movements become less coordinated. Sweat slicked his skin, causing his form-fitting uniform to stick to his body in an annoying manner while the cool breezes that grinded against him made him groan as they were his only relief from his internal heater. That and the perspiration helped, too, when the wind decided to bless him with some of its cool kisses.

If he wanted to be brutally honest with himself, and in this situation he really didn't want to be, he knew he should've called in sick or something because he was obviously in no condition to leave his shack of an apartment, let alone travel long distances. However, if he had, he would've had to deal with Sasuke's jeers, not to mention the council's and the Rokudaime's wrath. Who is the Rokudaime you may ask? After the battle against Pein, in which Konoha was nearly destroyed, Danzo, the old war hawk, had been approved of by the fire daimyo to replace Tsunade since the big busted woman had fallen into a coma due to chakra exhaustion and in such tough times, Konoha needed a leader. Even if it was a crippled old man that loved to steal Sharingan eyes from Uchiha corpses.

Tsunade had eventually regained consciousness, but it had been too late, her position of Hokage had been yanked away from her like sake on a lazy afternoon when Shizune caught her drinking under the desk. They let her become head of the hospital despite her demands to be reinstated as the village leader. Of course, with his sister figure out of office, things went downhill for Naruto quickly since the blond had no one to protect himself from the Kyuubi hating bastards, the old fools too old and stubborn to let go of their hatred.

More was demanded of him; higher missions, stronger opponents, long hours and a jump in the number of hospital visits were thrust upon him like unwanted baggage, and at times Naruto was sent right back into the field just after leaving the hospital days or even hours prior in spite of Tsunade's and Shizune's demands that he stay and rest. Due to this heavy increase in workload, he quickly rose through the ranks, the teen finally attaining the rank of Anbu at the age of seventeen.

Not only had his life changed for the worst, but so had Konoha's as a whole. Academy students no longer studied the frivolous lessons that pertained to jutsu theory or flower arranging; rather, they were replaced with long hours of physical endurance training to the point of collapsing and mental conditioning to the point of where one's mind would shatter into a thousand diminutive pieces. The new curriculum was literally turning the children of the village into the killing machines that shinobi were stereotyped to be; their childhood and innocence had been figuratively run through with a kunai in the back right through to their hearts, crushing their hopes and dreams, individuality and emotions.

It got to the point where Naruto couldn't even look Konohamaru in the eye, knowing that tired, familiar blank gaze he had grown accustomed to seeing around his home would be staring back through once full of life chocolate brown irises. While he was in truth already a genin at the time, the Sandaime's grandson couldn't escape the rigorous new training standards that were set upon him, the Konohamaru Corps had become less lively and acted more like war veterans than teenagers.

As the future generations were poisoned by an old man's ways, Danzo's power grew, his 'Ne' soldiers were a common sight among the Konoha populous patrolling the area like guard dogs without faces as all of them wore animal masks. How could such a wretched man gain entry into the noble class of the Hokage whom had protected the budding leaves of the village with their might while he himself was setting them aflame? Somehow or another shortly after the battle against the figurehead of Akatsuki he had managed to 'persuade' the daimyo that the peaceful ways of the past that his arch enemy had once preached had gotten them into such a pitiful state that it had been and that there needed to be a change in positions of power.

With that being said, it's not like things had gotten better. No, things had gotten much worse under Danzo's lead than it ever had under any of the previous hokages, especially when it came to foreign affairs. In short, Konoha no longer had any allies.

Zero.

Zip.

None.

Nada.

The sand shinobi had been one of its major allies, but even they couldn't turn a blind eye to Danzo's dictator-like actions, so with a heavy heart and multiple apologies, Gaara reluctantly withdrew their treaty of alliance. The decision did not solely fall on his shoulders; rather, it was the daimyo of the Wind Country along with concerned Suna citizens, shinobi and councilmen, alike that agreed that it was best not to be associated with the rapidly deteriorating village that was Konoha.

Soon, other allies followed the Kazekage's footsteps until the Fire country was on its own and should there be another world war, it would guarantee certain defeat for the leaf shinobi. Despite the fact they weren't allies any longer, Naruto secretly spoke to his foreign friends through his messenger toads by using them to deliver letters across the elemental borders. The countries turned neutral and still did business with Konoha, but they tried to do as little as possible so their reputations wouldn't get sucked up into the proverbial black hole.

As the years rushed by like holiday highway traffic, team seven weren't the only ones that got promoted and rose through the ranks. Out of team ten, Ino became Ibiki Morino's apprentice in the Torture and Interrogation department, a branch that extended from the Anbu Black Ops while Choji found himself still a chunin, the burly teen preferring to stay in the classroom and try to lessen the damage done to the village's offspring. The ever lazy genius of the group, Shikamaru, was a jonin and a strategy specialist, the cigarette-smoking teen had reluctantly taken on a genin team which he had dubbed 'troublesome' ever since the day he laid his half-open, beady brown eyes on them.

The tracking squad that was dubbed team eight had their piece of cake and ate it, too, as they grew. Kiba had gone on to become a hunter-nin and was known to be one of the best trackers the Inuzuka and the village itself had to offer due to his superior senses. Shino, the silent insect manipulator of the trio, had upgraded his hive and, over time, developed new techniques and procedures that contributed to his clan's power and efficiency, the brunette finding better breeding methods, new insects and was steadily studying a way to dispel the effects bug repellent and similar products had on his family.

Nevertheless, she who benefited most from the current time skip was the pearl-eyed princess of the Hyuuga clan herself, Hinata Hyuuga. While the girl still had her shy tendencies, she had become stronger through Naruto's support and aid. Hinata had attained the rank of jonin just three months before and was preparing for the task of leading a genin team.

Shortly after the whole Pein fiasco, the blond hero had taken her aside and talked to her about her proclamation of love, Naruto admitting that, while she was a wonderful person and a beautiful girl, he gently told her that he wasn't all that interested in the female race. Rather, he chose to cheer for the other team, so to speak. There was a lot of waterworks and guilty heartfelt apologies involved in their conversation after that point, the blond finally sat them both down on the park bench nearby and held her until she stopped crying.

There was awkwardness between the two for two and a half solid weeks before Tsunade summoned both to her doctor's office in order to settle the situation once and for all. In the beginning, the blond-haired hazel-eyed healer swore she wouldn't get into their troubled affairs, but after the Hyuuga and Uzumaki nearly caused the failure of a high ranking mission and nearly got themselves killed due to their broken teamwork, she saw no option other than to stick her high heels and delicate nose into it. Besides, it was better than the alternative option the two could've had to live through: taking the heat from Danzo.

After six hours of sporadic sobbing, annoyed sighs, raised voices, choked up words and many headaches for all parties involved, the two walked out friends once more, Naruto acting as a gentleman and escorting the young heiress to her home at the Hyuuga compound.

Lastly, team nine, under the guidance of Might Gai, flourished like dandelions throughout the changing seasons, the three teens growing stronger and more notorious as their ninja careers continued to sky rocket. Neji progressed to the rank of Anbu and under the mask of the horse, became known as one of Konoha's most infamous shinobi to ever originate from the Hyuuga clan, the teen doing his title 'prodigy' justice as he completed missions flawlessly and effectively despite his position as a branch member of the clan.

Rock Lee enthusiastically joined the elite ranks and was brought to tears of joy when he learned he would take on three students, his shouts of 'the joys of youth!' caused those around him to tremble in slight fear. What the hell had they been thinking? They already had two copies of Might Gai; they didn't need a third clone to add into the mix! Despite Lee's strange, eccentric habits he picked up from his teacher, he proved to be a good role model….if a bit on the weird side. Thankfully, none of his students had decided to idolize him just yet. And as far as everyone was concerned, it was better that way. In spite of the times in Konoha, the handsome devil of Konoha still held onto hope with his head held high.

Tenten was added to the bingo books shortly after her debut as a jonin, her nickname was "Konoha's Weapon Mistress" due to the fact that weaponry was her main form of attack, her aim was literally deadly accurate and she had mastered quite a long range of them outside the standard kunai and shuriken. Even as they went up in the ranks, the rookie teams occasionally performed missions together in their original three man squads for old time's sake.

But enough about the past, this is the present.

Naruto paused on a thick, sturdy branch that was located close to the trunk, his feet not uttering a word as they landed on the wood. From his vantage point in the tree, he could see training ground seven and his three teammates, all of them waiting for him to make his appearance, whether patiently or impatiently. Sighing in exhaustion, the blond extracted his mask from his sweat caked face before wiping off the perspiration with his forearm, a cat glaring at him with its empty sockets and jagged whiskers. He found it ironic that, out of all the zodiac animal masks he could've gotten assigned, it was the cat's that got the pleasure of hiding his identity. Of course he didn't miss the hidden sneer directed at him by the captain in charge of such affairs.

Naruto found that he and the furry feline had a lot in common, neither was accepted, both were rejected, either by the society they lived in or by Kami and the other animals. Both were hated and feared, not to mention, believed to be cursed and would bring nothing but turmoil to those around them. While he was treated a lot better than what he had to endure in his youth, there were still those stubborn people that refused to change, even after everything he had done for them. The choice of mask was also a jab to his status as a citizen in Konoha: He would never fully be accepted. Unless, by some odd occurrence, everyone in the elemental countries suddenly forgot about the truth behind the Kyuubi's defeat, his life would forever be made hell by someone in some form or another.

As soft pants weaseled their way through his cracked, chapped lips he leaned back heavily against the tree, too hot to mind the twig painfully poking at his lower back as though someone was stabbing him with it. Groaning deeply, he tilted his head back, his neck arching against the wood as he used his mask to fan himself with one hand while its twin pulled the skin tight collar of his uniform away from his flesh in an attempt to ventilate and circulate air in the space between his body and the stretchy fabric.

Good lord, what the hell was wrong with him? He had been forced to bare this heated burden ever since this morning and, in his earlier heat-induced delirium, he had been tempted to go on the mission commando style. Of course, if he had, he would've been arrested for indecent exposure by his teammates. Sakura would probably be the one to actually apprehend him, too. But Naruto couldn't deny that the idea of running around the village in his birthday suit and avoiding the anbu wouldn't be a fun challenge. Okay, maybe the heat was finally getting to his brain.

"Okay, Uzumaki….you have to pull yourself together…."

For good measure, he patted his face several times and wiped off the sweat from his forehead once more, while, in all truth, he just succeeded in smearing it across his bleeding pores and dampening his bangs. Naruto replaced the mask back on his face before teleporting into the area right smack dab in the middle of his teammates.

"Yo!"

"You're late, Naruto!"

"I know, Sakura, I know….sorry…"

"Dobe, do you at least have a good excuse for wasting our valuable time?" 

"Uh…I got lost on the road of life?"

That reply caused his teammates to sigh and Kakashi to request that Naruto come up with something more original, which caused all three of the younger shinobi to glare at him. That man had no right to criticize them for their excuses when he blamed his lateness on circumstances that weren't even possible half the time.

Now that the shadows released him from their concealing clutches, the blonde's appearance was revealed to his teammates and the readers. Naruto's usual six foot three inch height was lowered as he slouched in a drained manner, his arms dangling by his sides like deadweight. Like Kakashi and Sasuke, he was dressed in an anbu-styled uniform consisting of low wind-resistance clothing and protective armor, his red scarf missing from his slender neck. His normal hair that was styled to be a combo of his father's and Jiraiya's, stuck thickly to the nape of his neck and face while his lower back length ponytail drooped lifelessly like a depressed rope. Naruto, overall, looked quite disheveled and he reeked of the tangy scent of sweat that permeated his body, dark stains marring the cloth he donned under his arm pits, around his neck, chest and legs.

"Kami-sama, Naruto, what happened? You stink!"

Sakura plugged her nose through her mask and tried to wave off the stench while Kakashi merely shrugged; Sasuke barely took any notice of it and instead paid stalker-like attention to the blonde's well muscled body that was revealed due to the sticky outfit clinging to him like a second skin. If you looked closely and paid attention, you could see red replace black through the raven's eye holes, the teen using his copy cat bloodline to memorize the sight.

"I, uh…just got done doing some last minute training?"

Last thing Naruto needed was his teammates worrying about his health and going to Tsunade, who would surely force him to stay behind in the hospital while she conducted all kinds of funky tests to see what the hell was wrong with him.

"Somehow, I doubt it dead last….but we're going to have to do something about your odor because even a civilian could smell you a mile away…"

Without further prodding and shouts of surprise from his comrades, he jumped into the pond nearby, immersing himself in cool water. The cries were mostly caused by the fact that the blond had practically given the rest of team seven a shower without the soap when he dived in, the water slapping back up to the land on which he came from and drenching them. However, with a team of their caliber, shouldn't they have been able to dodge the aqua attack, especially one powered by an overlarge splash? For the sake of their reputations as both shinobi and anbu, the three silently swore not to ever speak of this again. How humiliating it would be if it was spread around they couldn't dodge just a little water in their distraction.

"NARUTO! WATCH IT NEXT TIME!"

"**Chaa! The Bastard got me soaked, he'll pay for this!" **

"_No, not you again! Go back to sleep or something, inner me…" _

"**Fuck you, you pink haired bitch! I'll do whatever the hell I-" **

Sakura groaned as she blocked out her inner self, the girl getting a headache as her chalkboard-like double pounded relentlessly against the mental barrier she put up to contain her fists of fury. In the beginning of her ninja career, and even before then, her mental twin had been the manifestation of what she was afraid to say on the outside, the black and white girl made up of all her personal thoughts and feelings she never let show…well at least to a certain degree.

Meanwhile, Naruto himself was facing his inner demons, so to speak, the blond bickering with the fox trapped in his well muscled and well toned stomach.

"**Brat, you're in no condition to travel, let alone fight. You need to go home and rest!"**

"_No, I'm perfectly fine, Kyuubi! The water is helping me cool off, see?" _

"**Baka…I'm not going to bother arguing with you anymore because nothing will get through that thick, empty head of yours anyway….don't come crying to me when you're in a tight spot 'cause I sure as hell won't save you." **

"_Yeah…whatever, fox…" _

"**And for the record, I hope you know you've run out of oxygen…" **

"_What?" _

Snapping his eyes open in surprise, Naruto's face contorted in pain as his lungs were rapidly emptying themselves of air and burning from the lack of it, the young ninja using what little strength he had to swim back to the surface in a panicked manner. As his head broke through the tranquil plane of the water, a gasp wheezed out of his throat before coughing harshly to clear his breathing passageways.

"Naruto! Are you okay? We were just about to go after you; you were under there for ten minutes!"

Sakura's worried shouts shook the blond a little as his heart thudded against his ribcage, the vital organ desperately trying to catch up and replenish the oxygen he lost in his body. With slow movements, he doggy paddled his way back to shore, the blond using his upper body strength to climb back onto land where his worried/irritated teammates stood. Kakashi was busy using a small wind jutsu to dry off his damaged book, a sigh of relief slipping through his masked lips because the book hadn't been too damaged.

"Naruto, we thought you drowned down there….are you sure you're okay to go?"

Naruto gave his former crush the nice guy pose, including the Gai and Lee patented thumbs up and brilliant white-teethed smile, minus the bright light that usually reduced the viewer to temporary blindness. It was an action they knew all too well that the blond used to show them he was okay.

"I'm fine really, guys…."

Sasuke snorted, an air of arrogance surrounding him like an unseen mist. The Uchiha's curse mark had been locked away by Kakashi once again, only with a stronger seal this time around. The raven had been traveling to Konoha with the rest of Team Hawk to exact his revenge against the village elders responsible for his family's demise and brother's suffering only to be confronted by Naruto at the Valley of the End where the two battled it out like they had when they were twelve and Sasuke had just defected to the Sound village to become Orochimaru's apprentice. Their second fight in that historical battleground ended differently as they brought out the stops in order to one up the other. Naruto ended up winning by knockout as Sasuke lost unconsciousness from a combination of his serious injuries and chakra exhaustion.

Just as Juugo was about to pick up the wayward Uchiha and the remaining trio escape with him in hand, the group found themselves surrounded by Konoha shinobi of chunin rank and up, Team Hawk's escape routes effectively cut off. Long story short, Karin was working at the hospital on a two year probation period, and Suigetsu was incarcerated in anbu lockdown due to the fact that he resisted capture. Juugo was kept in a cell as well, but he had regular mental evaluations with Ino and Tsunade in order to help suppress his killer urges and to prep him for reentering society once again in the future.

Sasuke himself had a trial and was put on four years of probation and house arrest for a year, his curse mark sealed tight and his ninja status revoked until just 6 months ago. When he received his shinobi headband, he thought he'd finally be going on high ranked missions only for his hope to be trampled on by Danzo's cane as he handed him a scroll for a D-rank. The raven was forced to perform the low rank missions that made you want to yank your hair out, one such example was chasing Tora the cat and the last time Sasuke had to find the damn feline from hell its fur was singed when it was returned. The Uchiha had been apprehended a little over a year and a half ago and in the time since his return, he managed to rise up through the ranks although he had help from Uchiha supporters in high places.

He had been furious when he found that one of his family's killers had become Hokage, but he hid it well; the raven wouldn't let go of his thirst for revenge so easily.

"Idiot….just don't slow us down like you always did when we were kids."

"Right back at you, bastard!"

Seaweed green eyes glared at both men before their owner grabbed the sides of their heads and smashed them together, a sickening wince inducing crack snapping into the late hours as their skulls collided painfully. Swearing like drunken pirates, the two rubbed their craniums in order to alleviate the throbbing pain caused by the rosette's intervention.

"Will you two give it a fucking rest already? Come on, we're already behind on time as it is!"

Calmly shutting his version of a holy book, Kakashi slipped it into his back pouch before his eyes swept over them, all traces of humor gone.

"Sakura is right; we need to get going NOW. Naruto, are you sure you're okay? You look pale and..."

The man materialized in front of him within a blink of an eye, his hand reaching out to feel Naruto's forehead for a fever only for his student to duck and jump back with an uneasy smile that was supposed to be reassuring.

"Thanks for the concern, sensei...but I'm fine, really! Let's just go...Dan...Hokage-sama will be displeased if this is delayed any longer..."

Uncertain glances were exchanged before nods followed suit in grim acceptance, Sakura keeping a critical eye on Naruto just in case he proved unfit to work. With all distractions aside, the four vanished into the two-in-the-morning shadows, the plummeting snow shards their only witnesses as they covered their tracks with the sky's white dandruff.

Tanned, battle roughened fingertips flitted through the pages of the rogue shinobi bingo book, the pads retreating at times so their owner could wipe them on his clothes to prevent his sweat from forming stains on the newly printed, crisp sheets of paper. The digits paused before they quickly shuffled the pages in reverse as expressive, yet physically concealed cerulean orbs caught sight of the picture of their target. Upon relocating the desired photo, Naruto began to read the description surrounding it in order to learn more about them, such as their techniques, weaknesses, specialties, etc.

Name: _Light Yagami_

Sex: _Male_

Age: _23_

OV: _Konohagakure No Sato_

Rank: _Jonin_

Hair: _Light Brown_

Eyes: _Reddish Brown (except when Kekkei genkai is activated.) _

Alias: _Kira_

Risk: SS rank

Description: _ Light Yagami is the last known member of his nearly extinct clan, which was destroyed 18 years ago during the nine-tailed fox attack in Konohagakure No Sato. At the age of 12, he was placed on a genin team with Mihael Keehl and Misa Amane under their sensei Ryuuzaki, the squad set up with the traditional rookie of the year (Yagami), the kunoichi of the year (Amane), and the dead last of the class (Mihael, or otherwise known as Mello) combo. During a C-rank mission Yagami's teammates, save for his sensei, died under mysterious circumstances and their bodies were never recovered; it's speculated that he had activated his blood line limit and disposed of them while on a patrol while their teacher spoke to the client. Upon returning to Konoha, the criminal in question was placed on another three man squad that was missing a member and soon, they too disappeared. This continued to happen with every squad he was a member of until Light's desertion of Konoha at the age of 19. _

_His kekkei genkai is a doujustu that causes his irises to turn red while the white backgrounds shift into a stoplight yellow; this is called the Shinigami's Eye and while it has only one trait, it is just as feared as the Sharingan. Alone, it is useless; however, when combined with his Death Note, Light is almost unstoppable. The Shinigami's Eye allows the user to view the target's name and time of death; this knowledge allows him to be able to write the victim's name down in his notebook. A few seconds after the name is etched in paper, the victim will die of cardiac arrest. Some battles have even shown that Yagami can be specific and can control people to a certain extent. With the I.Q level that can easily match an experienced Nara's and high level genjutsu abilities, Light Yagami is not to be underestimated under any circumstances. It is rumored that Yagami possesses a contract with a Shinigami. All ranks other than anbu and hunter-nin are to flee on sight while pursuers are advised to act with extreme caution. _

"Yikes…this guy sounds tough…"

"Not to mention he's a complete basket case…" Sakura dryly commented as the book was tossed back to her, a disgusted grimace crossing her soft features as she felt the sweat on the spine.

"Naruto! You haven't dried off from your little swim yet?"

His hand found its way to his neck as sweaty slim fingers rubbed the back of it in a sheepish manner, an embarrassing blush tinting his whiskered cheeks as a weak chuckle tickled his throat. Sighing tiredly at the fact that some things never changed, Kakashi interrupted them before Sakura could go Tsunade on his, most likely, sweat sticky ass.

"Quiet, you two…unless you want the target to hear us before we get there. Light Yagami is known to have a superiority complex and is mentally unstable…he plans on taking over the world and becoming a living 'god', how he'll manage that is unclear, but I'd rather not let the matter lie and find out before it's too late."

Deciding to enter the conversation and throw in his own two cents, the reserved Uchiha grunted out his words like a caveman.

"I've heard of this guy before. His doujutsu completely relies on spotting the enemy and having enough time to read what's above their heads. As soon as he gets your name, you're a dead man walking because it takes him less than a second to write down your name in that damn book of his."

The cat masked blond closed his azure eyes as he thought, his overheated body going into autopilot as they traveled, his normally chipper and earsplitting voice noticeably much quieter than usual as the words sluggishly navigated their way out of his lips.

"Basically…we have to take this guy down without being spotted right? If he sees us, it's game over."

"That's putting it simply, Naruto, but yes; however, it's going to be much more complicated than that. . ."

Kakashi's voice was light yet serious; the squad was quiet for awhile, the constant rhythmic impact of their feet touching down on the branches and the rustling of the straggling leaves that still stubbornly stuck to them being the only sounds that interrupted the silence.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei….where are we going?"

"To the Land of Rain…."

That declaration earned him the opportunity to see Naruto nearly lose his balance in surprise. Sakura froze up like some hunted rabbit while her eyes resembled a deer's when it was caught in the headlights while Sasuke scowled under his mask and one could practically feel the anger radiating off of him like UV rays. Madara Uchiha was still alive and free and most likely in the vicinity of Ame. Only two words could sum up the situation at hand.

Oh. Shit.

Rain droplets bombarded the leaky, broken down, not to mention abandoned Shinto shrine on the outskirts of the forever weeping country, it's sole occupant, save for a few desperate rats and feathered fiends that wanted to escape the aqua's attack, was a young man with chestnut brown hair and coffee colored eyes with crimson tints. There was nothing remarkable about him; his looks were above average and his clothes consisted of tan khaki pants with multiple hidden pockets and a white long-sleeved sweater that was covered by a tan traveler's cloak. On his right shoulder was a Konoha shinobi headband, a neat scratch slashing through the leaf symbol etched into the plating to display his betrayal.

Light squatted on the floor, not unlike the way his former sensei did in order to keep his clothes from being ruined by the grime that polluted the ancient debris infested floor. He had been wary of making this his makeshift shelter due to the possibility of rotting or termite-eaten wood, but it was better than standing out there in the rain like a fool. A dark chuckle sounded in the deserted building as he pondered the irony of his seating, the position reminding him of his former sensei, who hadn't been even five years older than his team was when they first gathered on that training field. That man had been on a whole new level and was a worthy opponent when it came to the battle of wits and Light would admit to himself he had looked up to the strange sweet-loving teacher for a brief period of time.

Shortly after gaining his Shinigami eyes, he had planned on eliminating the jonin as well due to the danger he posed to his plans, but after disposing of his teammates, chakra exhaustion reared its ugly head and when he woke up, he was already in the hospital back home. What truly frustrated him was that he never saw the raven again and he assumed he was alive because he hadn't spotted his name on the memorial stone. Then again, Ryuuzaki could just be an alias and normally, that wouldn't have been a problem, only he activated his bloodline far too late so he couldn't catch his sensei in his deadly sight. Fate had been against him that day.

"_**Hey, Light…what are you thinking so hard about?" **_

"Nothing of importance, Ryuk….just pondering a few loose ends I need to eventually tie up before they become a nuisance."

"_**You mean that Ryuuzaki guy? Why would he be a problem? Everyone already knows you're Kira." **_

Light felt himself sighing in irritation as he ran a hand through his brown tresses, his slender fingers tangling themselves in chocolate colored strands.

"Because he's one of the ones that pose a great threat...he has a lot of influence in Konoha and it doesn't help that he has a high I.Q...He's a worthy opponent...one I'll eventually crush."

"_**Hey, Light...incoming at 12 o'clock." **_

"Huh?"

Years of shinobi conditioning, kage level paranoia and enhanced reflexes were the only things that saved him as the brunette rolled out of the way. Kunai rained down on the exact spot he had been not two seconds before.

"Damn it!"

Narrowed eyes scanned the area, his body tense and ready to spring into action at a moment's notice whether it was to fight or flee, his hand reaching into his pocket for his Death Note and pen. This wasn't good; he had no idea how many enemies there were and being in an enclosed space like this didn't help matters any. Light knew he had to get out of here if he had a ghost of a chance of escaping this mess alive. Navigating through the shrine in a sprint and dodging explosive notes and other various traps meant to decapitate or incapacitate him caused Light to pant at the exertion, the egotistical runaway barely out of the final threshold of the building before it collapsed into over a thousand rotted bits.

Team seven made sure to stay at a distance so Light couldn't detect them, Naruto's long suppressed prankster side coming into full bloom as he set the traps while his teammates distracted the brunette with the random kunai and shuriken thrown his way. Outsmarting a guy like Yagami wouldn't be easy, if downright impossible for some, but hopefully, Naruto's luck would kick in and give them a miracle or two. One of the few advantages they had over their target was that he was slowly getting desperate and panic was quickly setting in, allowing hasty decisions to be made and errors time to bare their fruit.

A mistake, no matter how large or small, was still a mistake and it could have negative or positive effects on the one that made it; in Kira's case, it produced piss poor results. Another key element in this cat and mouse game was that the prey didn't know exactly who or what the predators were, their skill levels, their weaknesses, all of this information unknown. And everyone knows that ignorance is one of a shinobi's cardinal sins because one detail on a mission could mean the difference between success and failure or life and death.

A plethora of curses was spat as Light tried to outrun the flying explosive note decorated kunai knives, his body going into autopilot while his mind went into overdrive. He had to lure _them_ out into the opening because he was growing tired of being in the dark about what was going on and it wasn't aiding his cause that his body was beginning to tire and his reserves were gradually depleting due to the brunette manipulating chakra into his legs to make him go faster. Crashing through the shrubbery and into a field of thigh high grass that desperately needed trimming, he stood at the center, the criminal suffering from whip lash as he twisted his head in all directions, his kunai held close to his chest.

"Okay...show yourselves! I know you're out here...I can see you..."

Snorting, Kakashi motioned for them to stay hidden seeing through the youth's bluff; however, he hadn't counted on their target to have the time to set up a trap. Of course, he also didn't count on him having help either. Caught completely off guard, a surprised yelp escaped Naruto's lips as he felt something grab him from behind and lift him off his perch, his arms locked at his sides as he desperately bucked back and forth to try to break free.

"Cat!"

Sakura couldn't have stopped her shout if she wanted to, but her eyes widened comically as her hands clapped over her mouth, the medical kunoichi inadvertently handing their location to Kira on a silver platter. This was a fucking rookie mistake for crying out loud! No, it was a blunder that only a first year cadet at the academy could make! None of them could see or hear whatever had Naruto captive; it just appeared as though he was levitating a few feet from the branch, an invisible force incapacitating the anbu.

"Good job...Ryuk. Bring him down here."

With an amused cackle, it was only curiosity that made him do the human's bidding; however, he could see that his time was running out. Oh well, it had been fun while it lasted. The shinigami raised his wings and rode the stormy currents down to Light's location, his unearthly grip never yielding as he transported the blond to his source of amusement. The mask was hastily discarded and tossed onto the grassy ground like garbage, his size ten shoe smashing the cat's smiling visage into a million sharp shards while its empty eye sockets continued to stare up at him mockingly, the rain acting as the animal's tears of unspeakable pain. He snagged Naruto's chin painfully between lengthened fingernails which dug into his tanned flesh, leaving five angry red scratches where they lay.

"My my...aren't you a pretty one, Uzumaki Naruto?"

That line earned the slightly unstable ex-Konoha nin an unplanned shower as Naruto spit in his face in a demeaning fashion, uncaring of the consequences in his outrage in spite of his current dilemma. In a barely controlled anger-filled movement, the saliva was gone with a flick of his fingers, a strained smile plastered on his face and just that sight alone told Naruto that Light was dancing on the fine line between sanity and insanity. His expression reminded the anbu of all of his old childhood grins, his eyes squinted closed and his mouth impossibly stretched wide.

"Do you furnish towels with your showers?"

Any reply the demon vessel could have given to this sarcastic remark was cut off as Light backhanded him harshly, imprinting his hand in red on his whiskered face while his head snapped to the side from the force behind the blow.

"The rest of you, come out! Unless you want something…_unfortunate_ to befall your teammate…."

Growling, Kakashi leaped off his branch and into the clearing. Sasuke and Sakura reluctantly followed suit, their bodies tense. Their hands were just aching to reach into their pouches and retract the nearest weapon their fingers could get a hold of.

"Now, now….why the long faces? Kakashi Hatake….Sakura Haruno….Sasuke Uchiha…quite an interesting team they sent after me. And let's not forget the ever handsome Uzumaki…"

As his words drifted to them across the field, his tongue reached out and lapped at Naruto's neck lecherously, a leer set on his lips as he purposely baited the team. His captive struggled weakly against him, the strange full body fever he was enduring dulling his senses and weakening him further. That didn't mean he'd let this bastard take advantage of him so easily though, now would he? His struggles increased, so much so a resounding slap had to be delivered to temporarily stun him, mini messenger hawks chirping around his cranium. Sasuke could take no more and let his temper have full reign as he sprinted in, ignoring Kakashi's and Sakura's shouts and cries to stop. Light whipped out his dreaded black book; no, it obviously wasn't the one filled with phone numbers, and a pen furiously scribbled across the lined page.

The phrase "The pen is mightier than the sword" could never ring more true than right now.

Naruto's breath hitched in his throat as his captured hand fidgeted in Ryuk's grip, reflexively wanting to grasp at his chest where his heart started to pulsate at an irregular and dangerous pace. He felt his mouth start to foam and his breathing grow erratic, his heart feeling like it was about to explode and then….nothing. The blonde's body fell limp in the god's arms, his temperature starting to drop to that of a cadaver's.

"Naruto!"

Their voices shook the trees as did Light's malevolent laughter of darkened glee, Sasuke's body locking up at the sight of the vessel's lifeless form. Then he saw red, and lots of it might I add. It was then, in his barely stable state of mind, the summoner of death realized something very vital, a rookie mistake he had made finally became known. However by the time he recognized it, the Uchiha's katana was already coming down on his neck from behind, the blade gleaming in the moon's light.

Rule number 1: Never kill your hostage too early, especially if you miscalculated where their teammates were.

A final strangled curse barely left his lips before his head was promptly detached from his body, his severed cranium rolling in the grass like a spinning top before stopping at Kakashi's feet, red tinted chocolate eyes paralyzed wide open in shock. By now, Sakura had rushed to the fallen anbu's side, the rain mixing in with her tears as she desperately tried to revive him, snake and dog surrounding the two solemnly. The silver haired man felt another notch make itself known in his belt labeled "Survivor's Guilt" before he managed to choke out a few orders to the raven.

"Sasuke…..check the body to see if he had anything useful…."

He went to do his duties without hesitation, although if you looked close enough, you could see his steps were much slower than usual. Naruto had been rolled onto his back by now, green chakra engulfed hands touching his chest as the pinkette tried to restart his heart. Feeling like his arm weighed a ton, Kakashi closed Naruto's eyes and cleaned his face before gently pulling a sobbing Sakura away from the corpse, fully intending to follow protocol. Should an ally fall in battle, their bodies are to be destroyed on the spot, lest the risk of enemies finding traces of the village's secrets in their remains comes to light. His hands flashed through the signs quickly; the captain wanted to get this over with fast and with Sakura weeping behind him, it made the reality so much harder to take in and the task that much more difficult to do. Absently, he recalled that day so long ago when they were in Wave guarding Tazuna in what was supposed to be a C-rank mission, and he had explained how shinobi carcasses are disposed of. But never had he done it to someone he personally knew and cared for. Minato-sensei had found and cremated Obito's remains and by the time Kakashi found out about Rin's death during the Kyuubi attack, there were no traces of her left.

Just as he inhaled and prepared to release the flames from their prison in his lungs, his serpent faced protégé's voice called out to them, a sliver of hope in his tone.

"Hey! I found something, captain! You might want to take a look at this."

Sasuke rarely raised his voice so this had to be important, the two sluggishly turned to find the other holding...a small white eraser?

"Huh? What is it, Sasuke-kun?"

"I don't know...but...maybe if we use it to erase Naruto's name he'll be alive again?"

Kakashi sighed deeply, knowing they shouldn't get their hopes up like that. Life didn't work that way; just erasing a few kanji wouldn't bring Naruto back from the dead. It was just plain common sense. With that being said, he felt his jaw drop as the Uchiha rubbed away at the page, Naruto's heart starting back up as the last of his name was deleted.

"Well, I'll be damned..."

Sakura whooped in delight before tending to him, cursing softly to herself for her own carelessness. Both men looked at her in confusion and concern as her hands moved frantically.

"Fuck! How couldn't I see it before? His body temperature's way too high; he's in the red! Sensei, we need to get him back to Konoha for treatment now!"

"Sasuke, dispose of the body and put Yagami's head in the sealing scroll I gave you. Both of you take a soldier pill; we won't be stopping until we reach the village."

His calm yet urgent voice left no room for dispute as both did as they were ordered to do, Naruto's eyes opened as Kakashi made ready to sling him over his shoulder, his vision bleary.

"Kaka...sensei?"

"Hey, Naruto-kun, do us a favor and try to stay awake please? We're taking you to Tsunade and hopefully, we'll get there soon enough."

"But...I...thought I was..."

"You were, but luckily, Sasuke-kun found a way to bring you back."

As they traveled through the country and crossed the border, they talked to him to try to keep him conscious so the blond could tell them if he had any changing ailments. Kakashi's outfit was drenched with rain and sweat by the time they left Ame. Naruto strained to keep his eyes open, but his lids just seemed to get heavier and heavier, the temptation of sleep beckoning to him even more appealing than the world's largest bowl of ramen at this point.

"Naruto...Naruto? Hey! Wake up!"

"Huh? I'm...fine...Saku...ra..."

Lips too tired to form words anymore, his world went black, the cries of his teammates the last thing he heard before the dark abyss of slumber claimed him. A raged howl echoed in his ears, a mumble of a thought escaping him before all mental and physical processes and activities were abruptly cut off.

"_Kyuubi..._"

**Authoress' note:**

Ta-da! The first rewritten chapter of Love Sick has been brought to you by Kenthos and Kittie…and by the letter L. First off, this version will be different from the original as you can already tell but a lot of elements will still stick around so I hope no one will be disappointed in the changes. And to all the readers…I'm sorry for not updating for so long, I just know I'm going to get reviews that say 'you're alive!' or 'about time' so please save your finger strength I know it's been forever. Use it to open that random bag of Lays chips or to change the channel on your TV. Better yet please use it to review please! I have no bullshit reason that I can say to excuse me for not updating…other than pure procrastination mixed in with family health issues. I'd like to thank Kittie for her hard work she edited this for me so she has my eternal gratitude! Thank you Kittie! On another note: I forgot to take down the poll for my Death Note/Naruto crossover title on my profile and I'll keep it up until July 31, I WILL take it down then so vote as soon as possible. So far the title in the lead is "Naruto Lawliet: A Shinigami's Heir" with 7 votes, I have the prologue done….literally. It's finished, not been seen by a beta, but finished. As for MDHBFY….not sure what I'm doing with it, I know it has some stuff with it that are glaringly wrong but I do have a plot for it. Well folks, all I can say is please review! And to thank you all for the alerts, favs and reviews I've gotten so far. Thank you so much I appreciate them! I hope you have a nice day.

~Kenthos


	2. The Problem with the Seal

**Mind scape**

Kyuubi couldn't help but let out a loud sigh of relief as his tense body finally came undone and crumpled to the waterlogged stone floor of his much more humid than usual prison with a splash; a growl of irritation left him as his fur got wet. God damn it, somebody call a fucking plumber! Shoving his ire aside for the time being at the lack of proper plumbing, the demon squeezed his eyes shut as his claws pinched the bridge of his snout in thought. Never before had he felt so baffled…not to mention useless. To understand the fox's point of view, the reader would have to understand that Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze had never been sick a day in his life. Never did he have to deal with the hell that was sore throats, plugged up noses, upset stomachs (except the time he drank out-of-date milk or when Kyuubi was mad at him and decided payback was in order), rashes of any kind or any other known ailment. In other words, Naruto was one lucky bastard.

The demon's presence had always kept the blond healthy, so it was a mystery as to how exactly he ended up in the state that he was in. When Kyuubi had tried exerting his power through Naruto's body in order to try to find the source, his chakra was rebounded, the flesh rejecting it. What. The. Bloody. Hell. Something had to be wrong with the seal for Naruto's usually accommodating chakra pathways to reject his essence so strongly. Could it be because of his temporary demise? Kyuubi didn't know and it'd take a seal expert to find out, and those were few and far between. It was a dying art and the most people could do these days was making explosive notes and sealing scrolls. Such a pity, really. Those that went beyond the mundane used the seals for torture, to keep secrets, to control the wearer…distasteful in Kyuubi's opinion. And pointless. Why waste chakra using a seal when you could just beat the living hell out of them for answers?

Back to the case at hand, for all intents and purposes, Kyuubi was, in a word, useless. Usually, the seal regulated his chakra as it flowed through his chakra network, like blood through veins; however, ever since Naruto temporarily died and was then revived, this had changed. His chakra had been blocked off from Naruto's body and used to strengthen the seal to an almost air tight state. Kyuubi figured that this was an extra fail safe Minato built in during the sealing, to keep him inside as long as possible even after his jail had perished to prolong his escape to freedom. To give someone else more time to worry about a solution to keep the demon under lock and key. On the other hand, the fox found one major flaw in the Yondaime's plan that no one would know about had these circumstances not played out.

Jinchuuriki generally expired as soon as their demon was extracted from their body. What caused that was anyone's guess, really. Some theorized that it was because the seal bound the jailed and the jailer's souls together, the two unable to live without the other. Another hypothesis was that the human's body grew too accustomed to the demon's chakra, especially if it was sealed shortly after birth and couldn't sustain itself without its chakra. Whatever you believed, it still drew to the same conclusion Kyuubi had come upon: he and Naruto were separated to a point, a deep rift forming between them due to his body slowly, but surely, withering away. While Naruto was no longer dead, he was not out of the woods yet and until his condition reached a certain point the seal labeled him 'dead'. However, without Kyuubi's presence and/or chakra he will die, at least that's what the kitsune thought. The result was the same, no matter how you slice it. If Naruto died, then he would as well and that simply wasn't an option.

Growling deep within his throat, the Kyuubi no Kitsune glared menacingly at the ceiling.

"**Hang in there brat…I'd rather not have a reunion with the Shinigami or your Sire this soon. You die and I'll rip your balls out and use them for ping pong practice."**

His usually rage-filled orbs softened significantly as the light around him began to fade more so, the darkness of death closing in on him for a second time. Frustrated rubies drifted to the soggy stone floor, lids lowering to half mast. Kyuubi's rumbling voice was unusually soft, so much faith yet much more despairs coloring it.

"**Don't give up kit…hold on just a little longer. I don't think….I could afford to lose you, too…you annoying little brat." **

Bitter amusement painted the last four words that left his maw and as the darkness grew stronger and the light of life dimmer, he found himself reminiscing on a past he knew he'd never forget, but wished he could.

**Konoha Hospital **

Hospitals are known to be neutral territories: good, bad and everything in between has been known to take place within their antiseptic-scented walls. Lives began and ended just a few doors down from one another at different points in time. You could be coming in for minor stuff like vaccines, checkups, or the removal of stitches. Or you could be desperately wheeled through those doors, barely clinging to any catches in the wall called life. Like right now.

"Clear!"

The defibrillator buzzed to life as electrical energy hummed through Naruto's heart, chest arching slightly as electricity zapped his ribcage. Tsunade eyed the screen's readings with trepidation; according to it, Naruto was no longer in danger…for now. This was the third time they had to revive him, his body overheating and his heart overexerting itself. The seal on his stomach flickered chaotically, causing concern among her fellow nurses and doctors that it was breaking.

Rolling her honey hazel eyes, she had called in Jiraiya to check on it, the man surviving his encounter with Pein but losing his arm in the fight. This was okay with him as far as he was concerned, the pervert would always tell her 'better my arm than my life'. Sighing with relief, the Godaime turned to gaze at her patient, manicured red nails idly wringing the towel in her hands. Naruto lay on Egyptian cotton sheets, wearing only his boxers as ice packs were tucked against the outline of his body in a vain effort to cool him off, some already reduced to mere plastic sacks of piss warm water. He was hooked up to various machines including an IV, heart monitor and oxygen tank, needles and various other do-dads that kept track of his vitals.

It had nearly given this old lady a heart attack when Team 7 all but flew through the hospital double doors, Cat limp in Dog's arms. Naruto had been raced to the emergency room, Tsunade all but rocketing after the medics through the swinging double doors just as the light above them flip flopped from green to red. Sakura would give an oral report on what happened as she followed her sensei inside, bandanna clutched tightly in her fist and mask dangling from her neck. Sasuke and Kakashi waited outside the emergency room on standby as they were treated for any minor injuries they may have sustained.

Naruto suffered from very few external wounds; the problem lied internally with his heart and body temperature. His fuchsia haired teammate reported Naruto's strange behavior as well as her diagnosis on the battlefield, Tsunade scolding the girl for not fully checking Naruto as soon as the symptoms became known. Due to an unknown cause, his heart seemed to be overworking itself into frenzy, as if fighting an internal force and should it win the race, it would outpace the grim reaper's chilly, deceased stranglehold. The case concerning his fever was a whole other can of worms Tsunade hadn't even wanted to approach, much less open.

As it soared into the higher ranges, they did all they could to try to cool him off. Normally, if it wasn't so severe, they'd let him sweat it out, but circumstances dictated otherwise. Once the temperature climbed to a certain degree, cooling was required. His body was overheating to a boiling point that most didn't survive reaching, his skin starting to sizzle and pop like Sunday morning breakfast bacon fresh out of the skillet. Out of the corner of her eye shadowed orb, Tsunade would even swear she spotted a few patches of the flesh _melting _like a fudgesicle on a hot summer day in July. Well, of course, as you can all expect, that raised some alarms, so they attempted lowering his fever by use of various methods.

An ice bath was their first option, however as soon as Naruto was dipped in its chilly depths, steam hissed as it formed and rose, filtering through the room like Mist's fog as the water was swiftly heated from Naruto's touch. Well…plan A failed. Medication wasn't all that effective either; even if it was known to lower fevers, all it could manage was a couple degree drop, but hey, it was better than nothing. If Tsunade wasn't worried that Naruto would die of overdose, she'd probably feed him a whole bottle of pills, if not more.

"Hello! Earth to Hime, are you in there?"

It was just a reflex, she'd later say. Old habits do die hard after all and besides, you do not wave your hand in front of a veteran kunoichi's face and shout in her ear, especially when in deep thought. Be that as it may, whether it was an accident or not, Jiraiya still found himself taking a one way trip through the opposite wall of Naruto's room via a super powered bitch slap. Thankfully, it was unoccupied at the moment as a rather loud crash shook the hallway. Honey coated eyes blinked in realization before she went to check on the fallen toad sage. Jiraiya had not only busted through the wall, but also made a nice pervert shaped hole in the room's bathroom door. A smug smirk later, she pushed the broken remains of the entrance aside to find the white haired man sprawled out in the specially made shower to make it easier for patients to bathe. His impact had destroyed some of the porcelain and the pipes were damaged so the sannin found himself getting an unwanted shower.

"Oi, Pervert, you still alive?"

"Yes, but no thanks to you, of course...damn, woman. What'd I do to deserve that?"

"Oh, shut up. I was thinking and you ruined my train of thought."

"Geez...you call me here to check on the gaki's seal and you send me through a wall and a door via bitch slap airlines as gratitude? Did you know how far I had to travel to get here?"

Yes, we're all aware of the agonizing fifteen minute long walk from the hot springs to the hospital, Jiraiya. And that's at a civilian's pace so a shinobi would've gotten to the destination in less than five, even if they weren't using shushin. Peach toned manicured fingers pinched the bridge of her delicate nose in irritation; Tsunade could just feel a migraine coming on a mile away. A small...very small part of her felt guilty about accidentally causing him injury...but there's no way in hell she would admit that to him.

" Yeah, yeah...don't have a heart attack, you old codger...get up and I'll check you over."

Grasping his plated palm, Tsunade yanked him up by his only arm, causing him to stumble to his feet in a drunken manner. Something about that lecherous smile told her that the next thing that came out of his mouth would be anything but good...Jiraiya's tone was seemingly innocent.

"Really? I wouldn't want to be a bother...why don't you call one of the other doctors to see if you didn't fracture a rib or two?"

"Idiot. I'm not going to call someone to do the job when I can do it myself!"

A waggled eyebrow was her reply, a pervy shit eating grin stretching his square jaw as his eye crinkled in a wink.

"Really? I'm really grateful for that…I'll gladly let you play doctor with me anytime, Hime."

SMACK!

To this day, you can still make out a faint red outline of a female's handprint on Jiraiya's face, and when he moves his facial muscles too much, he's been known to wince at the old ache. An hour later found Tsunade pacing in agitation outside Naruto's closed door, ninja heels click-clacking across granite gray tiles that mirrored the people that were oh so kind enough to tread their filthy street-stained shoes on its reflective face. How fucking long did it take to look at a bunch of scribbles that looked like the work of a three year old on skin? A huffy sigh heaved its way through her chest before her thinning patience finally broke like crackling ice caps and without a word, Tsunade barged into the room only for her eye to twitch horribly at the sight that greeted her.

That filthy little pervert-although many a time he'd deny that and say he was a super pervert- was giggling obscenely as his left foot was perched on the window sill, his ridiculously long telescope all but sewed to his eye as he ogled the hot springs below. You. Have. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Kidding! The only warning Jiraiya got was the curious sound of cracking knuckles and a flash of furious liquid copper before he found himself eating tile and concrete. If that wasn't enough punishment, his head stuck out of the ceiling that belonged to the room below Naruto's and was treated with the sight of a damn near ninety year old man getting a sponge bath from a male nurse. Naruto's breath didn't so much as hitch through Jiraiya's horrified screams, Tsunade's laughter and the squawks of surprise from the people below.

Jiraiya's head was extracted from the floor before the Godaime royally chewed him out for peeping when he should be checking out Naruto's seal.

"What the hell did you think you were doing? You would think you'd care for your godson a little bit more than you would for naked women!"

His square jaw tightened into a grimace, scarlet lines wrinkling over aged skin as beady black eyes narrowed in anger and irritation. The words were dipped in frigid indifference. You could see Jiraiya's teeth grinding as he painfully held back the phrases that strained against the chains of his good graces.

"Don't you _dare_ say shit like that, Tsunade. I care for the gaki like he's my own grandson and who's to say I didn't already look at the seal and was waiting for you to show up? I'll admit I've made mistakes where Naruto's concerned, but at least I'm trying to make up for them!"

The silence was only broken by the toad sage's haggard breathing, the woman not answering as honey eyes diverted to the side.

"Sorry, Jiraiya…Anyway, what'd you find?"

A gnarled hand reached up and scratched the back of his head, worry creasing his brow.

"You aren't going to like what you're going to hear..."

"Say it anyways. I need to know what's going on with Naruto and if the seal is a factor in it."

"Well…I'm not going to bore you with the details, but long story short, the seal is working a little too well. It was designed so that when Naruto passed on, the seal would put Kyuubi under complete lockdown for a period of time so we'd have more time to transfer it to another vessel. It completely severs the demon's chakra from the body. Now normally, this wouldn't be a problem; however…since Naruto is still alive and has been dependent on Kyuubi's chakra since shortly after birth, it's causing complications. He can't survive without it."

Tsunade's brow furrowed darkly as her heels clicked across the floor, her soft fingertips brushing Naruto's sweaty strands to the side. Her replying silence pulsed through the room uncomfortably as her genin teammate stood stoically, arms threaded over his chest.

"We have to get Naruto's condition to the proper level where the seal will recognize he's still alive..."

"Yeah, but to do that, we'd need Kyuubi's chakra...I've seen medical ninja work miracles, but even they can only do so much, Tsunade. You are only human after all."

"Oh, I don't know, Jiraiya...this old girl might just be able to pull at least one more miracle out of her hat."

A short tiring sigh left her teeth as her tone was ensnared with wistfulness. Her comrade, on the other hand, wasn't so serious...

"Or her tits."

A pretty brunette nurse was wheeling down a patient to get X-rays at a leisurely pace when high pitched girlish shrieks of unspeakable agony zipped through the hallway from the room adjacent to their current location. Bewildered, the construction accident victim blinked up at his caregiver, eyebrows lifted up into his bandages.

"What was that?"

She sweatdropped, lip gloss tilting her lips into a shiny uneasy grin.

"Oh, that's Tsunade-sama...Jiraiya-sama probably said something he shouldn't have...It's completely normal!"

Thinking about the comments any man could say to a woman with a body like that as well as her reaction...considering her super strength that many speculated was from steroids...made the patient gulp and wisely stay silent. Needless to say, the toad sage would be in his prayers tonight, hoping for his survival...and of course a full recovery if he lived.

**Mind scape**

Lapping waves rocked him carefully, their cargo arched ever so slightly with his chest pointed to the upper blackness that was the ceiling as the rest of the body was submerged in water. Glossy sapphires were unveiled as their owner blearily lifted his lids. Dim sickly yellow lights shone down on his prone form from above, causing him to flinch away. Naruto moaned at the coolness that licked his body tauntingly, his vision hazy as he glanced to his surroundings.

It was still the same old place it had always been, the young man finding himself in the middle of a labyrinth of factory-like hallways with snaking pipes slithering along the corridors like pythons. The rhythmic drip drop of the sewer-like atmosphere funneled into his ear, smoothed over his canal and took the rest of the journey through his anatomy to his brain. He really didn't want to get up. Honestly. The water was nice and cool on his, what felt like, melting body. His muscles ached and his head felt like it was loaded with helium, he was so light headed. Not to mention the fire that pulsed in his lower abdomen that had gritty grunts scrambling through his throat. Needless to say, Naruto really didn't want to stand up and start moving.

Yet he had to if he wanted any knowledge on just what exactly was going on with him. Hopefully, Kyuubi had figured out something between then and now...for both of their sakes. It was a lot more difficult than it should've been, standing up I mean. It had taken all of fifteen minutes for the anbu just to get to his feet and he had needed the wall's aid. As Naruto touched the usually solid wall for support, he made an 'ew' face as it felt like he was feeling up a structure made of melting butter. Weakly pulling his hand to his face, his features twisted into a grimace as melted concrete covered his hand, gooey and hot like a burnt marshmallow. Shivering worse than the time he took the paper test in the chunin exams and found out that your grade depended on all three people in the squad, he repeatedly dipped his hand in the water until it was nothing but a memory. Naruto straightened himself up as much as his body would allow, a sigh deflated him further.

"Well...that's not a good sign..."

Wearily, he looked down to his submerged feet, one hand on the oozing wall and the other on his forehead.

"Well, come on, legs...let's go before you check out on me."

Blinking at his own conversation with his limbs of all things he sweatdropped and palmed his face.

"Apparently my mind already has."

Hey readers, sorry for the filler chapter the next one will be better I promise! I know it's not as long as the first chapter but hey, fillers don't need as much detail. Please read and review! And if you visit my profile page feel free to check out my Death Note/Naruto crossover. I'll try to update MDHBFY asap!

Later,

Kenthos


	3. Trouble's a Brewin'

**Hi Everyone! **

**I received three reviews-all anonymous of course-saying a few of the more hurtful things you could type. If you don't like a fanfic, don't flame it just click the back button, it's not too hard I'm sure. If you have the time to write hate mail then I'm sure you have the time to click on a goddamn button. You don't even have to double click for fuck's sake people. **

**Here is what I have to say to Angel love, TELLS TheM, and GAY HATER since I can't reply to them personally:**

"**Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one. And likewise, everyone thinks everyone else's stink. Thank you for the input and have a nice day." **

* * *

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Naruto, or any other manga, anime, and video game characters that may make a special guest appearance.**

* * *

If it was humid enough that your surroundings were literally melting into what appeared to be a flooded water color painting, then it was high time to high tail it out of there. Unfortunately for our friendly neighborhood-or was it navel hood since he lived in a stomach?-nine tailed fox demon, that wasn't exactly an option. Blood shot crimson glared kunai at the now solid steel wall that kept him in what could best be described as solitary confinement. Upon the pause of the beating in Naruto's breast, those confounded iron bars took the heart's burden, expanding steadily, rhythmically, until they connected to form the formidable barrier before him.(A.N-Yes, I know he's a boy but 'breast' can be another word for chest in general it's just not used as much.)

Highly sensitive eardrums vibrated to the sound waves originating from the outer chamber where the pipes interconnecting his chakra to Naruto's severed their bonds mechanically. What started out as soft whirring could be heard as rusty metal cylinders unscrewed from their respective locks in the intricate system that was Naruto's chakra network, only for bubbling squelches to replace the background hum. Sickly period red started to ooze thickly, the pipes melting like ice cream on a ninety degree summer afternoon.(A.N-You're all welcome for the mental image by the way.) All of this went on behind the scenes, beneath the thin sheet of concrete that coated the walls like paint, only now it resembled more of a giant lump of melting butter.

A grunted "Shit" ricocheted off the walls of his now airtight prison, nine furry ribbons thrashing around in claustrophobic irritation. Now mind, Kyuubi wasn't the type to fear being stuck in small places, hell for nearly twenty years, he's been stuck inside this joint, but before he at least had a door…one filled with iron bars… but it was still a door nonetheless. The demon's monstrous mass did nothing to alleviate the thudding jitters that had replaced his heart, ivory colored claws pawing at the dingy, soggy ground.

"Someone needs to turn down the damn thermostat….," Kyuubi noted dryly to his unresponsive surroundings. While the innards of his prison weren't turning to melted goop, it didn't mean he wasn't baking in here like burning brownies.

Feeling the need for a more spacious environment, eyes glazed with a sort of aged exhaustion slipped shut and taut muscles limped loosely. Deep within the darkness of being's inner core, a gate lay sealed, it's only defense a mere gothic styled onyx colored hook lock that gleamed ominously in the spotlight. The iron barred entrance harmonized with its catch, both laced with elegant sterling silver. The dark abyss produced a humanoid arm, muscles rippling over the forearm and the beginnings of a bicep, bone colored claws tipping the ends of four flawless fingers and a thumb. Skin the color of a desert dweller; as if its owner slinked through the sandy shores of Suna, coated calcium and muscle, a hint of freshly harvested honey converged with the coarseness of the sandy complexion.

Flippantly, the hand which lay upon its back flicked the hook to freedom, the metal piece sailing 270 degrees before its voice echoed resoundingly through the room with a decisive 'clink'. Rupturing like a clogged artery belonging to an overweight middle aged man that loved McDonald's a little too much, the gates were hurled off their hinges by the now red soaked battering wind. Garnet miasma burst through the demon's being with a hurricane's 'whoosh', a gapless vortex cylindering the room, miniscule cracks chipping through the walls.

Kyuubi distantly discerned that he was descending, as he neared the cruel quick sand like floor his body morphed, chakra engulfing him like brilliant flames. Angry scarlet strands of fur fell away from his body in a flurry like starving rose petals, divulging a six foot, nine inch tall humanoid shape, nine ruby tails streaming behind him like wind whipped ribbons. With a grunt, paws stretched into claw tipped human feet and hands, a black nose tipped snout shriveled into a human façade cloaked in the chamber's shadows. Landing on his side painfully, the transformation spanned only as long as it took him to fall, a husky grunt left Kyuubi's flawless human lips.

His silhouette could be seen using his elbows and forearms as leverage to try to get up, upper body buckling under the strain before Kyuubi let himself lay sprawled out, exhausted. No light penetrated the room, leaving him a mere shadow within the desolate darkness. Now let it be known that tailed beasts didn't necessarily have a gender, as they were masses of chakra originating from the Juubi. Some even speculated that they didn't even possess souls as they were just pieces of a bigger puzzle. By 'some,' we mean ignorant humans that thought they knew what they were talking about when in reality they didn't know jack shit.

The tailed biju were like children so to speak. They were clean, blank slates whose development depended on the influence of those around them. So in this corrupt, military like world where power and greed mean absolutely everything to everyone, you could imagine how they turned out to be. For instance, because Kyuubi had been referred to so many times as 'male,' he believed it to be appropriate for that to be the form he now took. Weariness seeped into the very core of his bones like thick condensed molasses, weighing him down as his consciousness bobbed like a forgotten buoy in an oil slicked sea. Half mast shutters dipped closed of their own accord, the deadweight of his body sinking him further into what could've been erroneous as a horse's stall that hadn't been cleaned for months that was the earth on which he lay.

His tails fanned out like ruined streamers over his backside and lower body, a sort of makeshift shredded blanket that concealed forbidden bronze tinted skin. So feeble was his strength that the demon couldn't find any energy left to explore his newly formed body, which had been a molded compilation of years of human observation. Faintly, he pondered his thoughts so normally clear and understandable now reduced to bubbles brewed of champagne which only remained coherent until they popped and drifted away into a drowsy haze. Everything melted away, just like his surroundings threatened to, as the oblivion known as slumber ripped him from the world of the wakefulness.

"_Heh…I sure hope I wake up… at some point…"_

Eyes outlined in a thick raccoon mask and the color of light hued moss narrowed; a milky white forehead with a splash of crimson AB crinkling with unease where eyebrows were supposed to be. The Kazekage, whom was known as the strongest shinobi in Wind Country, found himself going in circles in his once unbalanced mind, the partially unfurled scroll threatening to tear in his tense hands. It was troubling news that the messenger hawk wrought upon its wings, a discreet message that had only reached him by Kami's good graces as it hadn't been detected by patrolling 'Ne' members on the look out for outgoing communication.

Apparently, his longtime friend, his first one, Naruto Uzumaki had just fallen ill and had collapsed while on a high ranking mission and was in the hospital. The slug princess hadn't given him anymore info than that, including his current condition. The most nail biting worry worthy thing was that this was written two days ago, the poor creature that carted the information on the merciless tearing air thermals was all but passed out on his office desk. In a span of forty-eight hours, hundreds of things could've taken place. Hell, for all Gaara knew, they could be having his funeral right now. Sighing deeply-because Kami knows the red haired former jinchuuriki did NOT groan-the scroll found a new home in his top right desk drawer, the opening sliding shut with an overly controlled slam.

After the hawk had been carted from his desk to go recuperate in Suna's own nesting area for their messenger birds, Gaara leaned back in his chair-which Kankuro complained about since the fat ass wanted one just as comfortable-and pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes squeezed shut as he felt a migraine start to take a red hot sledge hammer fresh off the black smith's fire to his skull. This wouldn't be the first, nor the final time, he would regret his decision, no matter how necessary it had been, to cut off ties with the Leaf village. Really, what was he supposed to do? Danzo's reputation, as both a leader and a shinobi, whose hands were creeping into practically every cookie jar you could think of, dragged that of Hi-no-Kuni's down to the depths of Makai kicking and screaming. It would've reflected dismally on Suna and their newly regained wave of clients would dry up faster than Orochimaru's nether regions at a show girl's convention. (Come on with the obvious ratio of boys and girls he has brainwashed with the boys as a majority, he can't be straight. ~Kenthos)

Gaara was tempted, oh so very tempted, to send someone to infiltrate Konoha, just to get a more current update on the situation. However, he knew that was risky and if discovered, it'd mean certain death for the spy in one of Ibiki's dark, damp, dank interrogation cells, former ally or not. Folding his fingers beneath his chin, he'd sit and ponder in contemplation before the soft rapping knocks of his assistant Matsuri dispelled the cloak of depressing air that seemed to drift amongst his things yet not wander out the open window. Ever since his resurrection, they had become fairly good friends, the brunette's hair swaying in the dry hack like breeze as a stack of paperwork was cradled in her left arm, and a piping hot cup of tea occupied her right.

"Good afternoon, Gaara-sama. Here's the schedule for this week as well as mission requests, a personal letter from the daimyo, a few recently turned in mission reports and of course your jasmine tea. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

As she listed them off, she painstakingly placed the items down in small stacks in order of her words perfectly, nestling his cup just right on the coaster so it wouldn't create a ring stain on the oak furniture. Bemused by Matsuri's efforts to please him, he placated her with a small upturn of his lips, barely seen if you didn't look.

"Thank you, Matsuri... and no I am fine for the moment. You are dismissed for now."

Bowing, she moved to leave before the edge of his cup began to spider web with cracks, just as his finger brushed against the side. His countenance paled a shade, the bad omen hitting the pause button his assistant's departure as the sound of china cracking erupted in her ears as well as his own breathing as Gaara's eyes narrowed into black outlined ovals. Liquid that matched the color of his eyes oozed out of a crack, drop by drop like blood retreating from the body of a man dying a slow, tortured death.

"Gaara-sama, isn't that a bad omen?"

Emerald marbles swiveled up to her questioning chestnut almost onyx orbs before rounding the edges of his corneas back down to the special cup which hadn't held much meaning before now. If the cup had a soul, it'd be jumping up and down with ecstasy. Did this mean it wouldn't be stuffed into that overcrowded cabinet full of ancient mismatched misfits? It would no longer have to associate with the horribly tacky tan yellow chipped mug that no one wanted to use since it had a questionable green fungus at the bottom of it? Any and all dreams of grandeur were sunk like the Titanic as Gaara dumped the remaining tea out the window, ignoring the yelp of surprise of some unfortunate passerby that now probably smelled of jasmine. Turning exactly ninety degrees clockwise, the Kazekage plopped the broken china into the trash can beside his desk, although he could have sworn he heard a tiny voice say something along the lines of 'I'll have my revenge!' before shaking his head.

Restlessly, he stood and folded his hands behind his back as he gazed out at the bustling market place down below, disturbingly resembling the Third Hokage's posture. His words were a twisted version of an old saying Baki-sensei always told them while the Sabaku siblings were on his genin team.

"Something tells me these peaceful winds are just the calm before the inevitable tornado, Matsuri-san..."

Sasuke sat at a small circular table the color of granite in the hospital cafeteria, his pose not unlike the one he implemented when he had first became a genin, waiting with his future teammates for their sensei who would probably be tardy to his own funeral. Through some freak accident he was sure, maybe a cat would cross the path of the undertakers and the idea of bad luck would make them circle around….Wait, what the hell was he thinking. Ninja didn't have the traditional civilian funerals that involved the body being buried or cremated. It ran the risk of the corpse falling into an enemy's hands and the last thing anyone needed was a rival village unearthing the secrets of both the Hatake and Uchiha clans from one place.

The rhythmic cash register 'ka-chings', the wafting odor of those swimming burgers that can in no way be real, the clanging of serving trays and repeated rumbles of indigestion from the pop machine brought him back to the present as well as the cheery voice of his teammate.

"Here's your tomato juice, Sasuke-kun!"

"Hn. Thanks."

"You're very welcome."

Sakura's chair clawed at the floor in protest as she pulled it out to sit in, the petite woman taking care to elegantly sit down in front of her still sometimes crush. She had grown into a young woman, Sasuke could tell, but sometimes she reverted back to the useless, fan girlish 12 year old she had been, but thank Kami for his ears it wasn't often. Her white nurse uniform clung to her shapely form, pink hair dolled up to fit the white cap that accompanied it. Sasuke had come to visit Naruto only to find visitors were prohibited as was access to his condition and medical records. It had just been pure luck…at least he thought it was luck that he ran into Sakura in the hallway just as he was about to depart. So here they were, he in his jonin attire and she in her nurse's uniform enjoying her break. He may be able to use this to get what he wanted.

Sasuke accepted the can of tomato juice with gratified silence, the nurse preferring a bottle of water and a strawberry bit encrusted granola bar.

"Hey….Sakura-chan…"

A warm cherub blush painted her cheeks at the honorific; it was so unusual for Sasuke to speak her name in such an endearing manner.

'**Take that Ino-Pig! CHA!'**

Not minding her inner self's break out into freedom at the moment, Sakura applied a coy smile like one would lipstick, folding her hands under her chin to make them look delicate.

"Yes, Sasuke-kun? What is it?"

"Hn…never mind, it's nothing important. When is the Dobe going to be able to have visitors?"

Her smile softened at the change of subject, becoming more real, finding it sweet that Sasuke wouldn't admit he was worried about their blond teammate.

'_Even if neither would admit it, despite all that we've been through, they still care about each other. I mean, they are best friends after all…maybe I can sneak Sasuke-kun in to see him for a few minutes. I'm sure there's no harm in it after all.'_

It was such a pity that Sasuke's intentions weren't that innocent, had the pinkette had the foresight, she wasn't so sure she'd be so willing to break hospital protocol to let her 'concerned' crush pay their downed friend a visit. As it was, she was only disappointed he hadn't said more than that, but she hid it well. Stretching out her senses to make sure no one was around, her fingers around the slender middle of the water bottle made small poses, miniature hand signs for anbu code.

"Will….try….get you….see Cat."

Receiving the message, Sasuke replied, his fingers doing the talking his mouth could not as they thrummed against the table in an ostensibly random manner when, in reality, it was Morse code.

"Thanks…really appreciate it."

What made her day, hell her month, was seeing Sasuke Uchiha's diffident grin, it bordered more along the lines of a smirk but didn't boast the usual dose of haughty arrogance that embittered his taste buds like aged sea salt. Draining the bottle of its contents, she tossed it behind her shoulder without looking, the plastic humming as it orbited the rim of the trash bin before plopping into the dark abyss of rubbish. Gone with it, was the granola bar wrapper, which had been hastily stuffed inside it once she took notice of the time.

"Sorry, Sasuke-kun, but my break's almost over. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Hn. Ja ne."

Shaking her head at him, Sakura reached over and stole a hug, giving him an extra squeeze before zipping down the hall, hurriedly adjusting her hat so it wasn't as lopsided as one of Naruto's usual grins. Sasuke took no notice of her embrace or her absence, the young man mild mannerly sipping at the last dregs of the liquid form of his secret addiction like an exquisitely aged wine. The recurring shuffling of patient slippers, rustling of barbeque chip bags and occasional draft from the shutting and opening, usual door business, of the freezers that kept bottled beverages and ice cream products a nice December chill numbed his thoughts, freeing them to float away like dead white dandelions that carried the wishes of those naïve enough to believe in such fantasies. Brushing aside the remnants from his perfectly thin lips, Sasuke would shoot his can straight into the belly of the litter can, reuniting with the bottle it had previously sat with not an hour before in the ice box.

If one had taken minute details of Sasuke's appearance, most notably the back of his head, they would notice that the fringes of ebony black strands that graced his neck were shorter than the rest of his hair, a discrepancy that had been present since his return. Oh sure, you can say that they had always been shorter than the rest of his tresses which resembled the backside of a chicken or a duck, but it was as though someone had completely shaved the area specifically before it grew back. There was only less than two inches in width and length, but as they say, one thing can make all the difference. Unbeknownst to anyone, beneath the swirls of sooty black lay an espionage seal in the design of a never ending vortex, in similar style to Madara Uchiha's exits. The ink gleamed ominously beneath its glossy lair as the dim hospital lights rained down on the survivor, his sandals tapping against the tiles like tap shoes as he treaded.

Tap…tap…tap…

Blackness flashed as the overhead lights twitched out like a dying animal, leaving his silhouette to block the box of light that was the doorway to the next hall. A half turn of his torso revealed a wide white smile that bordered the lines of genius and insanity, eyes wide and scarlet with the gift of his blood. Coal colors his tears of taint which slip seductively down his cheek in an arch; the remaining illumination shies out of existence, leaving nothing but a blanket of a shade darker than the Black Plague. When a passing by nurse flips the switch a few times down the hall, we see not a trace of the Avenger when the light returns from its hiding place, nothing of course but a spot of tomato juice on the table where he sat not moments ago that looked far too much like blood….

"_Amadare wa chi no shizuku to natte hoho wo_

_Tsutaiochiru_

_Mou doko ni mo kaeru basho ga nai nara"*_

**This chapter was hard to write and I apologize if it doesn't measure up to the standards I've promised, I hate it to be honest. This was like pulling teeth with rusted plastic sporks connected by a flimsy overused rubber band, and I'll make the next chapter more exciting, or at least I'll make it so Naruto is involved. I thank Kittie for her patience as well as yours and I hope you all review. I didn't translate the song lyrics above, I got them off the net so I don't take credit! Invisible cookie for those that can figure out where the lyrics come from **

Translation: "Raindrops turn into droplets of blood

And run down my cheeks

If there isn't a place for me to return anywhere anymore."


	4. We're Going Under

"You can't do this! He's one of our best operatives!"

"I can and I will…I will not waste resources on a broken weapon. You can't let your emotional attachment cloud your judgment or you will make hasty decisions Tsunade-hime. That's what got Konoha in its deplorable state years ago."

You could practically hear the 'before I fixed it' in his tone, if by 'fixed' he meant, 'make it worse', then hell yes he had done a wonderful job. Scarlet letter openers lay flat against creaky wood, tapered ribbons coil in unconcealed resentment as honeyed browns smoldered into blazing coal. Willed fires of sisterly affection and resolute blankness collided in a deadly inferno of which the likes of Dante himself would comment on. Orange burnt butterscotch sides the color of writhing bottom embers had been doused by stale pewter, a steely cubicle devoid of the once prestigious pictures of the former Hokage, of their warmth, of their once prestigious Will of Fire. What had once been a source of comfort and welcome for some, was now a dreaded haunt best to avoid like that creepy house down the street your parents told you not to play near.

The windows were far fewer, the last thing Danzo would ever want were multiple vantages from which his enemies could spy on him but on the other hand blocking off escape routes was a rookie move hence why he hadn't plastered them all up. If there was one thing that could be said about the man, it was that he was a paranoid son of a bitch. The change of wall paint and fewer windows were just the tip of the iceberg. Most times, when a new Hokage took office it was changed in some ways to suit their needs and personal preferences.

For instance, Sarutobi painted over the ocean blue with a parchment white and made the place more open. His workspace was often filled with piles of paperwork his arthritis couldn't keep up with but it was always methodical and well polished. It held a traditional spice. When Minato Namikaze took over the helm he had decided to add color and due to a mishap concerning the paint they ended up with the too cool blazing orange. His work was generally done on time if a bit disorganized. No one would ever forget the incident where he had lost the Hokage hat amongst the scroll mountain that were D-rank assignments while a Taki dignitary was visiting. Now, it looked as foreboding as Ibiki's personal interrogation room. In fact, most would prefer that to this. At least there, you knew what to expect: pain and lots of it. There, you had a slim hope of surviving. Here, there was never a guarantee you'd walk out alive, much less in one piece should the Hokage want a personal rendezvous with you.

Tsunade grit her teeth as she leaned back, straightening her face in a terse stone so it was blank other than a spark of irritation. She hated to negotiate on his terms, using his terms. But it was the only way he might hear her out. When in Rome, do as the Romans.

"But if we jump the gun, and eliminate a weapon that could possibly be repaired, than it would've been a meaningless blow to our military strength."

He continued his hard Cyclops stare, but she could see he was either genuinely considering her reasoning, or he was just appearing to do so to fuck with her head.

"Oh? Then you can guarantee the Jinchuuriki's recovery?"

Popping the hope ballooning in her chest like it was inflation, her expression retained the professional air. Her voice quivered worse than William Tell's crossbow after a night of drinking ((just saying if he did drink, I am not well versed in his information so nobody get technical on my ass –A.N)) as it bubbled in the starting point of her throat before it straightened up and bolded.

"You bet your ass I can one-eye."

"Funny you should say 'bet' Tsunade-hime, considering your rather infamous reputation. Are you willing to bet your pet's life and let the dice fall where they may?"

Cracking her fingers as they formed fists, they stood at her sides like shackles but if you knew her like Jiraiya, or the rest of her old team did, that was a sure sign she wanted nothing more than to let them taste your teeth before they were shoved so far down your ass you'd have to see a dentist and a urologist at the same time.

"When it comes to the people I care about _Hokage-sama,_ all bets are off. Just give me enough time to do my job."

"A month."

"Be realistic!" she sneered at the man's wrinkled smirk.

"How much longer do you need? Surely the Legendary Medic can fix things as soon as she can break them."

"I need a year."

"…If I allow this, you will owe me one favor."

There was a deathly silence at that, as if the very breeze that was so noisy before was now being smothered with a cloud. Favors. Promises. The bane of the ninja world. It was something regarded with as much disdain as the dreaded pirate parlay. In a world as bloodthirsty as this, where the land soaked up the red wine of life like a twitching alcoholic, it was laughable, if not blasphemy to actually fathom that you'd get a lot of help. Sure, the Leaf once boasted that 'teamwork' was the most important lesson they gave, but it was still a dog eat dog world. You didn't have a clan or a special ability? You were put on the back burner to be taught when teachers had good graces and time, it was basic belief that if you had one of those things, you were more likely to be more advanced than the 'commoners'. In times of war, they were not going to waste time teaching something to someone when they already had a solider that excelled at it. Why waste time teaching civilian born warriors chakra control when you had a Hyuuga?

Granted, it had gotten better since the time of the Shodaime Hokage, thanks to legends such as the Yellow Flash, Jiraiya, Orochimaru and a few select others that hadn't been born so fortunate. They showcased to the world that you didn't have to be born with special abilities and special privileges to be the best of the best. Still, old ways died hard and an unofficial system had been created. It was quite simple really: you just returned the favor to whoever you owed, the price depended upon what they had done for you. The payback wasn't just limited to money, considering the severity of the aid you could owe someone as little as pocket change or as much as your life. No matter how stupid, how impossible, or how horrible it was, you were expected to do it as long as it was within reason when measured against what they had done for you versus what they wanted in return.

The system originally circled around lessons, students would do favors and the like for information or techniques and after some odd years it spread to other regions of their lives. Back then, it had been something you saw everyday now it was rarely used and if it was, it pressured you all the more to abide by it due to tradition. A lot of the veteran ninja could be seen mumbling about how these whippersnappers had it so easy these days.

Back to the matter at hand, if Tsunade agreed to this one thing was as clear as Naruto's head: She'd owe him BIG. And owing Danzo…Shivering before him would only give him smug satisfaction that she was intimidated by him and she'd be damned before showing weakness to the likes of such a man…if he could still be called that. He was more like a retarded chimera.

"Fine," she spit it out more than actually said.

And he seemed all too pleased with her agreement, all her efforts would do is stave off the inevitable. While waiting for the Kyuubi to return after killing it's current host would take years, he felt he had the time. And if he didn't, he'd make it.

"Then you have exactly one year from today, November 30th is your deadline. I suggest you get to work on what should be your most impossible task yet."

Nodding curtly, she strolled –read stormed- out of the room, conveniently forgetting to bow in respect as he dismissed her, his self satisfied sneer all too infuriating for words. The true taste of helplessness was a bitter, burning pill to ingest and all the water in the world couldn't make it go down any easier. The 'tip tap' of her heels was soon accompanied by the echoes of geta click clacks.

"So you managed to buy us more time eh Hime? I knew he couldn't turn down your feminine wiles."

She frowned deeply at Jiraiya's humor, which at the moment was quite dry as his jovial voice had quieted substantially. Yes, she had succeeded…but at what cost?

"You mentioned earlier you had 'one last trick up your sleeve'…care to share?"

"Heh…I suppose I forgot to inform you that you _are_ my ace in the hole you old codger."

"Not that I'm not flattered, because Kami knows that a compliment from you is about as likely as a suicidal Orochimaru, but what can I do that the world's best medical ninja can't?"

"Well, for starters you can loosen and possibly alter the seal on Naruto's stomach," she said this with a matter-of-factly air and with the ease as though they were talking about the weather.

"….I'm gonna do what now?"

**Xx Scene Change: Destination…Mindscape xX**

Lacy, silk tinsel hung woven over head, swaying seductively to the heated tunnel pants, its sole occupant unconcerned as all eight legs clung to its sticky dwelling. Its many shimmer sheen eyes locked with its dank mirror image. The subject of the visual had a film of black over it, bordered with misty, darkened blue as the spider was reflected in dual puddles of molten sapphire. A raindrop of liquefied pipe fell on his cheek, tracing the penciled whisker, hissing like skillet bound uncooked meat as it burned a red path over his flesh. Naruto blinked dazedly, lethargically, as he looked to the wound out of the corner of his eye, not really noticing what should have been searing pain, but taking enough note to snap out of his daze.

The first thing he observed was that the level of melted materials had gotten significantly higher. He was up to his chest in this quick mud, it was all he could call it really as it was too moist to be sand. Patches of tall, slightly yellowed grass towered over his head like half dead trees. His sensitive hearing and the bouncing echoes of the sweating walls picked up the muted scuttling of thousands if not millions of eight paired feet, his heart picking up the pace to match their tiny foot falls. Apparently that little menace had friends. A lot of them. The last thing Naruto remembered before blanking out was…well he had been slushing his way through this stuff and he had stopped to lean against the wall for a quick break, because he had known if he stopped completely he wouldn't be able to start back up again. His eyes had tiredly looked around to find something to preoccupy his fogged brain before they skimmed over that arachnid, and upon looking into those many eyes…

It had been like he was dunked in a vat of black ink, laced with writer's depression as his mind tried to focus and send the message through his nervous system to look away from the Halloween decoration. Despite his commands his body had relaxed and his vision had gone foggy and before he knew it, he had been remembering the sense of abandonment and anger when his team had left him tied to that pole after their genin exam. Hey, it was one of his better memories. Worse case scenario he could have re-experienced a repressed memory and he didn't want to find out the hard way why it was suppressed. Shaking off the last burnt images from his mind, Naruto looked around before his face whitened to the shade of Gai-sensei's teeth, what felt like an anvil dropping into the pits of his stomach to further drag him down. The level hadn't risen…he had sunk.

"Shit shit shit!"

Flaying and splashing like a Magikarp, with about the same level of effectiveness, Naruto struggled to free himself, spitting out swears as he felt something grabbing his legs. The water around him formed hand shaped tendrils that leeched onto him, grabbing his arms and pinning them behind his back while another covered his mouth and nose, cutting off his air. Naruto tried to free his face, only breathing in mud and moisture that clouded his lungs causing him to choke, his struggles frenzied before they began…to…slow. Lack of oxygen does that to a guy. Muscles untensing, clenched fingers clawing at the resilient arm failing, his lids drooping, he tried to stay conscious. He finally could hold on to wakefulness no longer, a muted sigh deflating him as the blonde passed out. More mud hand prints came, ensnaring his waist, shoulders and neck before coaxing their load underneath the surface, all that lingered were soft ripples and a single strand of hair that floated bravely on. Debris from the wreckage that was Naruto Uzumaki.

**Xx Scene Change: Destination…Uchiha Clan Compound xX**

It was funny sometimes how everything circled right back to the very beginning. This room had damned him with the knowledge of the Mangekyou and its many abilities, including how to control the nine-tailed fox when he was eight years old and here he was a little over ten years later. Back to the forgotten little chamber under the floor mat. Damn? Where had that word come from? Of course it had been a blessing, if Itachi had done anything for him it was give him knowledge and guilt. Oh yes lots and lots of guilt. Confusion and Hate were two of his other preferred companions. He needed to stop thinking, it wasn't his place to question his motives.

Sasuke scowled by torch light, the man getting down on the solitary mat before the altar, sitting criss cross applesauce, right hand on his knee and left hand moving to the back of his neck. His index and middle fingers brushed away the carefully applied concealer to reveal half a seal, his hair having grown over a majority of it. Hey, any green horn could use henge, but real ninja could use wigs, make up, the whole nine yards to make for a better if a bit more solid disguise. Sighing, he focused chakra to his fingers and pressed them against the seal, the ink lighting up. His voice was a low murmur as he held what seemed to be a one-sided conversation.

"He is still unable to have visitors but the girl is going to sneak me in."

"…."

"Yes I know time is of the essence," his voice grew terse, "You'll have your Jinchuuriki alright? Just be a little patient."

He winced, free hand grasping his head as though someone had set off an explosive tag in his ear. Sasuke's voice held the tone of a fish, cold and controlled on the surface but you knew as soon as it left the water it'd start shaking. Communication was cut, his hand mechanically angling away from his neck before fingers formed a shaky fist, the veins in his wrist bulging slightly before he slammed it into the concrete floor. Cracks spidering outward as he disturbed the gray sea.

Xx Scene Change: Destination…Unknown Location xX

"Trouble in paradise?"

"I'd hardly call Konoha paradise….merely a minor set back."

"I certainly hope I haven't misplaced my confidence in your abilities.…Sasuke."

The kneeling figure straightened, the pupil of a lone spotlight in this soggy catacombed cavern, a manic glint in his smirking teeth. He wore a black oversized shroud, hood concealing his face as red pepper eyes swirled in anticipation.

"Hn. You have no need to worry about his efficiency or success rate….who better to trust than myself?"

**Xx Scene Change: Destination…Author's notes xX**

**I honestly have no excuse for not updating, other than laziness and video games. Yes, that's right. Blame Pokemon and Kingdom Hearts. To all my readers, I apologize for that but college is starting soon and I'm on the verge of an emotional freak out. I'll try to keep updating, like I said I'm not putting this or any of my stuff up for adoption.**

**I honestly feel dissatisfied with this chapter and I'm sure you do too, sorry about the no Kyuubi and very little Naruto action here, they'll be more important in the next chapter, promise :3 Just building up the suspense and I hope the payoff will be enough for you. I try to keep it original. I'm sorry this is unbeta-ed due to technical difficulties. On another note, two Sasukes? Clones? Maybe…maybe not. Guess you'll have to stick around to find out. I didn't do the disclaimer, what's the point? If my writing is on this site, it's obvious what I'm writing about isn't originally mine. As a side note if my beta is reading this, please contact me! My old e-mail got hacked.**


	5. The Enemies Within and Without

Swallowed down the sewer's gullet, he slid through the onyx dyed waters slickly, head first into a dank void as he was released by the fluid based bonds. Features slackened with unconscious peace, Naruto's fall seemed never-ending, his ninja wired ponytail slackening to allow his tresses to fan out. They wove like fine, gold luster glazed seaweed strands, ripping through the darkness little by little to leave a shimmering after glow. Abruptly, a thick rope of blood shot out from above, entangling him, pinning his arms to his sides before knotting at his stomach. An echo of a voice, so similar to his own bellowed against his unconscious ears, Orochimaru kind of silky and Jiraiya roughened.

"Be grateful… I could have taken the easy way but at least I'm giving you a fighting chance… even if it's for a game you aren't yet aware of. Never say I never helped you."

You could hear the lips form a sneer, the syllables painted with another coat of gleeful, mischievous malevolence. Naruto was reeled in and upwards, much like a fishing lure that failed to perform, dead weight flaying like a despondent worm.

"Then again…"

Soft skittering of eight little feet could be perceived, water logged bubbles kicked up rapidly as a lone tarantula, a mesh of color most unusual, slinked down the rope with agile familiarity. Scarlet and ebony with a dash of orange touched down on seal singed flesh before scampering north to warm Naruto's Adam's apple, his mouth slightly ajar.

"I never said I'd play fair."

The arachnid further pried open his lips as wide as it could before forcing feeding itself into his mouth, causing Naruto to nearly gag. While he wasn't aware enough to taste it, it was far from slimy yet satisfying. More like hairy and hacking. Naruto coughed, his spirit body working like a physical one and attempting to eject the blockage in his air ways. Taking it's chance when Naruto's lungs attempted to swell with oxygen once more, the often nausea inducing menace slid to the back of his throat, too far for the gag reflex to buck it out. So another bodily reflex activated. Ingestion. Naruto's neck bulged from the girth as he reflexively swallowed the tarantula, a bubble pocket slithering down his esophagus to his chest where it flattened out of sight.

Naruto broke through the surface a few seconds later, dangling from the ceiling like a life-sized piñata a little ways from where he started, before being dropped like a puppet whose strings had been cut. There was a grunting 'oomph!' punched out of him, and the tendril unfurled from his prone form before retracting to a shadowed corner across the way. Eyes with corresponding colors to the tarantula's tresses gazed out of the darkened quadrant, a light with premature delight. Above the third party was a portion of lighting that buzzed in and out like a demented 'tick tock' for the eyes, a sickly yellow shade which flickered like a dying ember casting a murky silhouette. Red miasma gurgled around the male's form like a suffocating shawl, his form in a half crouch, knees slightly bent and arms dangling just above them, claws flexing in the lightning like lighting.

He was Naruto's twin in all but physical presence, orange having darkened to crimson and blue blackening to a shade of charcoal, with each flicker of light more of it was shed on his appearance. Hair that wasn't bound stood on end, tinged with a vampire's favorite shade of red, feral fangs dipping over too wide to be comfortable lips and slit red painted on black canvas peepers stood out vividly from the dark backdrop. A cherry flavored Rasengan was juggled between the claws of his right hand as it faced palm up, rubies never leaving closed sapphires as his Jaws like maw stretched in a mad smile. Not the angry kind either, the sort that belonged in a demented retelling of Alice in Wonderland.

Buzzt… Buzzt!

Smirking, Yami Naruto flicked his wrist, the deadly spinning ball of doom evaporating into a red cloud. The light above him buzzing as it fought the losing battle of staying on, fading with each word.

"Let-"

Buzzt…

"the-"

Buuuzz…

"games-" 

Buzt.

"begin."

**Buzzt!**

Xx Scene Change xX

"Are you sure this is going to work Jiraiya?"

"Oh don't tell me you're getting cold feet Tsunade, this was your bright idea to begin with after all… Just surprised we haven't been found out yet and arrested for treason. Because if running the risk of the same demon that nearly destroyed us once getting loose isn't considered treason I don't know what is."

"…. Shut up perv and get on with it… this kid's the reason I returned to this village. Not to mention he's Kushina's and Minato's only kid… we owe him enough to try our damn best to help him. Besides, those seals of your's should keep this little operation secret, are you or are you not the best available seal master we have on hand?"

"Of course I am, I take this art very seriously. And you don't need to remind me who his parents are… I am his godfather after all."

"Does that still count if he doesn't know that little fact?"

"…."

The two legendary ninja stood in a hidden bunker located beneath the Forest of Death, one that in the past had been used in times of war to hide supplies. Hey if the ninja that lived in the village were hesitant to enter those 10 foot tall gates, that was usually a good repellant for foreigners. The room they currently occupied was once pristine white, now a dingy aged tan had replaced it. It was empty, and as dusted as a tomb, save for themselves as their recently acquired cargo. It hadn't been an easy task spiriting Naruto, bed and all, out of the hospital without anyone noticing. What further made it difficult was keeping him stable as they moved him. Jiraiya had made two shadow clones, one to henge as Naruto and the other to henge into the bed to buy them some time before someone noticed the real anbu wasn't there anymore.

While the floors and walls had been previously as blank as Sai's face once was, blood and ink now ran rampant in chaotic scribbles and swirls, half kanji and misshapen katakana sprouting from the source that was located in the center of the room. There were privacy seals, seals that dealt with sound proofing a room, distorted lip movements and the area in which it was inscribed, and blocked any and all chakra output that would have been sensed otherwise. These were of the highest caliber, which was only fitting, as the seal they were dealing with was finalized by the very god of Death himself. Naruto's prone form lay at the center of this group of black rivers, wearing only his boxers to free up flesh to draw upon. Each brush stroke fanned out from the masterpiece burned onto his abdominal area all the way up to the corners of the ceiling.

What would have been weeks of work had been lowered to six hours thanks to the help of the infamous shadow clone jutsu, and Jiraiya's fingers felt as brittle as frozen glass blades in the middle of January. Wincing the toad sage flexed his hands in a (for once) non-perverted fashion, all eight fingers and two thumbs creaking and cracking, bringing him little relief.

"Finished?"

"Yeah yeah… just gotta double check. This is the kind of array that needs to be absolutely perfect."

Tsunade crossed her arms and stayed out of the way as Jiraiya retraced his footsteps, careful not to smudge anything. Hopefully this wouldn't take as long as it had to make this thing.

CRASH!

Fuck… Honey hardened into topaz as Jiraiya lay on his ass, swearing a tsunami as he had stepped into the bucket used for the ink and had tripped. He now struggled to wretch it off his foot, a few seemingly harmless droplets of black scattering here and there from the brim. Crowing in victory as the bucket was finally removed, Jiraiya shuddered as sensed Tsunade's K.I laced presence behind him and could only rub the back of his neck sheepishly.

Uh oh…

Ebony tears glistened ominously in the dim light.

Xx Scene Change xX

A pained moan vibrated Naruto's vocal chords as he strained to hover on his forearms and knees, his side stinging something fierce from where he landed. Ow… where was he? The last thing he remembered was drowning in that mental sand trap. Shaking his head to clear it, he groaned as he noticed his hair tie had come undone, his hair lightly slapping against his face more so than usual.

"Aw man!"

Naruto rolled backwards until he was sitting down, legs arched up before folding themselves underneath him. He pat himself down, trying to find spare ninja wire or anything for that matter that could hold his hair back only to twitch in frustration. He ran a hand through the object of his ire, a sigh slumping his shoulders.

"What's a guy gotta do to around here to keep his hair out of his face…" he grumbled, why had he let people talk him into growing out his hair? Oh yeah…he couldn't pass through Iwa without making someone have a flashback when he had his previously short hair. At least this wasn't as bad… he was almost tempted to dye it another color… maybe red?

Brushing his hair out of his face and adjusting it so his headband held the majority of his bangs back, Naruto palmed his knees before standing up, idly taking the hem of his top and wringing out what was left of the moisture. He was mostly dry at this point, which made him wonder just how long he had been out. How was it even possible to be unconscious in your own mind? Stumbling with the grace of a drunken toad, Naruto started out walking on both legs, then it downgraded to him leaning against the wall once more and finally it go to the point where he was crawling. Was his spiritual body just as affected as his physical body by this unknown ailment? How?

He didn't remember it being this far to Kyuubi's cage, or was it that he was just moving that slow and didn't realize it? By now he had learned, though quite harshly, that the infestation in his mind actually meant something. The spiders, represented negative emotions, negative memories, while the one or two fireflies he found held the opposite. Positive, good memories and emotions. For obvious reasons the former completely overwhelmed the later… such was the fate of a human sacrifice. Naruto couldn't let it get him down however, he couldn't afford to. Survival first, pleasant frivolities such as happiness could wait for another time when their cost wasn't so unreachable. Naruto perked at the sight of a familiar hallway and scrounged up the energy to stand up and began running. Not the kind of strong, focused, coordinated type you typically saw in track runners or even joggers, but the kind that would make bystanders think he was both exhausted and intoxicated. The former being the only real cause.

It felt like he was choking on his pants, his lungs feeling as developed as an academy student's as they ached, trying to will themselves to expand more but not possessing the strength to do so. Naruto staggered into the chamber of the fearsome fox demon, hands smacking heavily on his knees as he hunched over, trying to talk and breathe at the same time. Normally it'd be a very easy thing for him to do. Had he been paying attention he would have noticed something was severely off but for the moment his ninja senses failed him in the presence of his relief at finally…finally finding his way here. He had yet to look up.

"Geez!…..hah…hah… Man, you have no idea how long it took me to get here. Hah hah… hey, so, I um… have no idea what's going on with me. So… So I figured you might have an idea considering… ya know."

He paused once more before gazing up, his face doing a great impression of a Notre Dame gargoyle. Stony with a dash of twisted horror. If one weren't looking for it you'd think all there was in this chamber was wall, wall wall, wall, wall, wall. And flapping against the cold drafts in the middle of the area in front of him was the seal. Running, Naruto almost didn't put on the brakes in time, nearly becoming one of those decorative Halloween witches that looked like pancakes. Running his hands frantically, he managed to locate the once unhidden bars which gleamed in the greenish glow.

What.

The.

Fuck.

"Oi fox, can you hear me? Kyuubi! If you can, do something! Growl, swish a tail, create a tsunami, rock an earthquake… hell threaten to eat me!"

Pressing his ear against the barrier, he grew frustrated with the silence. Was he ignoring him? At a time like this? Irritated, the easily excitable youth began pounding away at the one thing separating him from his prisoner, yelling himself hoarse. If there was one thing Naruto was number one at…it was having the biggest set of lungs to ever grace a human rib cage.

"DAMN IT KYUUBI!"

Xx Scene Change xX

"Step back Hime."

The Godaime did so without any further prompting, knowing that in the field of fuinjutsu she'd just get underfoot if she tried to help.

"Out of curiosity…why aren't you using the key to open the seal? The one in your summon?"

"Because apparently the 'master key' can't open this lock. I already tried. Imagine Naruto's seal as a locking mechanism in a door. Now imagine his condition being like wadded, aged taffy crammed into the keyhole. Key doesn't do any damn good if it can't enter the hole."

"Hm."

Jiraiya's arthritis ridden fingers flashed through countless seals, Tsunade having lost count after the 153rd seal. They slowed as they neared completion, the final motions on the tip of his fingers like words on the tip of your tongue. Each hand sign unknowingly made in tandem with Uzumaki Naruto's fists, which banged loudly against the seal within.

Monkey.

Right.

Dog.

Left.

Boar.

Pause.

Ram!

Right!

**BOOM!**

Jiraiya's swearing exclamation was soundly blocked out by the blast..

Xx Scene Change xX

Naruto had no idea what he did, or how he did it, or if he even did anything at all. The very second he laid into the bulwark with his right hook, the seal ruptured, sending the blonde flying. He smacked against the wall opposite of the seal, just above the entrance to the room, telling of the force of the explosion and only managed to instinctively roll himself away in time before he was caught in the debris. What little chakra he had left to cling to the wall failed him, and he found himself in free fall, limbs slacking and eyes shuttering. He had long lost consciousness before a furred rope woven with dusk red caught him around his stomach, preventing his descent less than an inch from the floor. A pair of rubies gave an eerie glow from amongst the broken bars which framed them. Nothing audible other than Naruto's deep breaths. With disturbing slowness, his prone form was dragged deeper, deeper into the dark abyss. Closer, closer, to his tenant's den.

Nearby overhead, a spider feasted upon a trapped butterfly.

Xx Scene Change xX

Sasuke stood in his bedroom by the window, the moon's reflection partially concealing the photo's occupants in which he held in the palm of his hand. His face was apathetic as he gazed into the eyes of his twelve year old squad, the memories of that particular day wafting through his membrane. How idiotic he had been.

"Che."

Setting the frame back down he turned, a breeze from his open window whooshing in and tilting the picture dangerously forward. Ears pricking at the sound his instincts kicked in without second thought and caught it before it could break. Black tinged red glared at the offending object, knuckles whitening as his grip strengthened on the wood. Why did he give a damn if the fucking thing got broke? It wasn't like he couldn't get another frame and the photo wasn't that important… Was it?

No… it wasn't his place to question himself. Still… he couldn't ignore the twinge, the twinge of what he wasn't sure, in his chest. Sasuke shut his window in irritation and set the frame face down, not unlike when he had left the village all those years ago and just as he was about to head to bed he glanced back. The sight of the black cardboard backing chipped at his resolve and deft digits placed it on its haunches properly.

Pale fingers ran through his hair, only to snag on the spikes in agony. Shaking his head to clear it, Sasuke turned in for the night. He dozed off to the cicadas' crooning cries, and if you looked at the picture frame just under the right light….a small, insignificant crack could be seen creeping up the right hand corner. Towards Naruto's glaring visage.

Sorry it took so long to update, and I also apologize for the slow buildup. . Don't worry though, things are going to be picking up soon. I'm sorry to all those that have reviewed my stories, as I have been too busy to reply. But please know that I am thankful and happy to receive feedback.

Kenthos


	6. Save Our Fics!

Hey folks, I know I probably got you all excited and you thought I was going to update this story…well I'm sorry to disappoint you and even sorrier to be the bearer of bad news. Especially if this is the first time you've heard about it. This website has, within it's inifinite wisdom, please note the sarcasm, decided to go on an MA manhunt and is deleting all stories that contain lemons and violence. My stories would fit rather nicely in those categories, they are in danger as well as others that we have come to grow and love during our stay here. I know I've kept you all waiting for updates and I truly apologize for that, I'm getting back in the groove…only to find out this is happening. I want to continue and finish what I started, but I don't see much of a point if they're going to be hidden/deleted. If worse comes to worse you can find me at adultfanfiction under the same pen name and at deviantart under the name ShonenJumpFan. I will soon upload my stories there if I must. But I refuse to get shut down without a fight! You don't have to be a writer to join, please support your favorite writers and their fanfictions and end this madness! Go to the link and sign the petition, please! Below are those that support this cause!

www(dot)change(dot)org/petitions/fanfiction-net-stop-the-destruction-of-fanfiction-net

Psudocode_Samurai

Rocketman1728

dracohalo117

VFSNAKE

Agato the Venom Host

Jay Frost

SamCrow

Blood Brandy

Dusk666

Hisea Ori

The Dark Graven

BlackRevenant

Lord Orion Salazar Black

Sakusha Saelbu

Horocrux

socras01

Kumo no Makoto

Biskoff

Korraganitar the NightShadow

NightInk

Lazruth

ragnrock kyuubi

SpiritWriterXXX

Ace6151

FleeingReality

Harufu

Exiled crow

Slifer1988

Dee Laynter

Angeldoctor

Final Black Getsuga

ZamielRaizunto

Fenris187

blood enraged

arashiXnoXkami

tstoldt

Mystic 6 tailed Naruto

ElementalMaster16

Dark Vizard447

Darth Void Sage of the Force

Shiso no Kitsune

The Sinful

Kage640

Ihateheroes

swords of twilight

Kyuubi16

darthkamon

narutodragon

bunji the wolf

Cjonwalrus

Killjoy3000

blueexorist

White Whiskey

Ying the Nine Tail Fox

Gin of the wicked smile

tstoldt

The wolf god Fenri

JazzyJ09

sleepers4u

The Unknown 007

Gallantmon228

MKTerra

Gunbladez19

Forgottenkami

RHatch89

SoulKingonCrack

Dreadman75

Knives91

The Lemon Sage

Dark Spidey

VioletTragedies

Eon The Cat of Shadows

kazikamikaze24

animegamemaster6

LLOYDROCKS

demented-squirrel

swords of dawn

The Immoral Flame

blueexorist

Challenger

Shywhitefox

drp83

Bethrezen

Dragon6

bellxross

unweymexicano

The First Kitsukage

kingdom219

brown phantom

littleking9512

kurokamiDG

Auumaan

FrancineBlossom

BDG420

Her Dark Poet

bloodrosepsycho

Shen an Calhar

NarutoMasterSage4040

Masamune X23

Kuromoki

Sliver Lynx

devilzxknight86

Unis Crimson

Zero X Limit

SinX. Retribution

reven228

JAKdaRIPPER

Third Fang

IRAssault

Grumpywinter

absolutezero001

Single Silver Eye

animekingmike

Daniel Lynx

zerohour20xx

arturus

Silvdra-Zero

YoukoTaichou

Leonineus

Aragon Potter

Kur0Kishi

Aznpuffyhair

viscious aggression 101

IsealShisarakage  
Uzunaru999  
Dark-Knight  
fearme80  
Devilsummoner666  
slicerness  
Toa Naruto  
Soleneus  
kagedoragon  
dansama92  
KamenRiderNexus  
Captive Crimson  
KyuubiiLover27  
MozillaEverer  
4rm36uy  
ebm6969  
Repiece  
phantomshadowdragon  
Colonel Eagle  
Timothy1988  
ShadowZenith  
awsm125  
The Purple Critic  
Darkepyon  
Zombyra  
brickster409  
ChaosSonic1  
Leaf Ranger  
SoulEmbrace2010  
Oni Shin  
Silverknight17  
Specter637  
HunterBerserkerWolf  
shadow-red0  
The Roaming Shadow  
bucketbot  
AvalonNakamura  
Avacii  
Maxwell Gray  
Silvdra-zero  
Arashi walker  
Lord of Daemons  
Lord Anime  
CloudRed1988  
forestscout  
The Lost Mana  
Red Warrior of Light  
TUAOA MORRISTOFOX  
Mr. Alaska  
Swagnilla-Ice-1985  
MugetsuIchigo  
bloodlust002  
Nerverean  
Kage Biju  
JK10  
OBSERVER01  
MistressWinowyll  
Count Kulalu  
ronin504  
ted009  
Ralmidaz  
lederra  
Lost my shoe in Sheol  
ToyHaunter  
Hiyami  
PuckReathof  
demonsinger  
konomu-Imout  
LOVEMANGA AND DRARRY  
yuseiko-chan  
Elvira-baba  
Icecce  
iampieman  
Ultimabloodblade  
Gintoki  
kumar9900  
DemonAngel of Ice  
dragon-cloud16  
Harute Haptism  
the green ace of clubs  
Assassin King of Masyaf  
Flame-Fist-Ace  
Lucifer's Remnants  
Story Reader 97  
kniznik  
NARUHAREM FOREVA  
NHunter  
Angry Hamster  
Kouken Tenshi  
Yume Saint-Clair  
Oo-chan  
jojo(non inscrit)  
gaia (pas inscrit)  
Estelle Uzumaki  
Melana76  
onarluca  
Xanara  
odvie  
archiemouse  
Fenrir the vicious  
taj14  
c i am a dragon  
God Emperor Of GAR-halla  
Warrior of Olympus  
Xxfreefallangelxx  
BituMAN  
shadowcub  
acepro Evolution  
ScorpinokXV  
Hunter200007  
kyo anime  
Nysk  
Killeraction49  
Storylover213  
arya19  
irvanthedamned  
Kiranos  
KingKidBadAss  
nimb09  
Paladeus  
Orange-Fuzz-Ball  
Kakkyou no Yami  
Burning Truth  
DrunkManSquakin  
cabel1972  
dynomike88  
Tolotos  
Hansi Rahl  
Rekmond  
Farmer Kyle  
You-Lack-BadAssery  
Silverscale  
Cloud75JC  
GunnerRyuu  
Kurogane7  
Raja-Ulat  
DragonMasterFlex  
Saphire Quill  
shadowzefover5  
Highvalour  
Rinoti  
2ndsly  
guardianmaster4  
Godlykiller2  
munesanzune  
DarkghostX  
w1p  
Lord Arkan  
Xahn777  
T3Ko  
Dragon Man 180  
Alia-Jevs  
Fayneir  
Ookami Ousama  
Asdfth12  
Burning Lights  
EternalBlizzardOfSwords66  
eltigre221  
Jarjaxle  
HinaGuy749  
Great Vampire-Shinso  
Harute Haptism  
Oxyxoon  
high lord mage  
FatalCrimsonScion  
Starfire99  
Doombreed  
AdamantiumTP  
NightInk  
Wrathkal  
Firedamaged  
God Emperor of GAR-halla  
xArtehx  
Kapola Nuva  
HunterAzrael  
anime-death-angel  
sabery  
Bahamutzero94  
Soul Painted Black  
Infinite Freedome  
Rodneysao  
Shatsuka  
jm1681  
Ookami88  
Akira Strider  
empresskitsune  
KitsuneGirl021  
KagomeGirl021  
Joey Blaq  
Nex Caedes  
Billy Buyo  
lite spirit  
CelticReaper  
fullhouses  
Felur  
TitaniumWyvern  
NeonZangetsu  
LargerSnowdevil  
I'm Yu  
Define Incompetent  
Caw-Raven  
BackwardsHazard  
lord Martiya  
Umashido  
pokemoncosmoking  
sjghostwriter18  
scout360pyro  
taintedloki  
MtSarx  
kumar9900  
TehIrishBrony  
Uzumaki Crossover  
Etsukazu no Kitsune  
Ranger-kit  
rts515  
Soulblazer87  
Kamigawa Nagamaki  
F Archer  
us4gi-ch4n  
Shirabaka Tenji  
Spear-of-the-doomed  
Painsake  
Ben1987  
Spartan Ninja  
dante5986  
Victoriousvillian  
Sage of Eyes  
Boomerbambam  
YosoNoAkuma  
Megaman88  
Angry Hamster  
Warden of the Runes  
Kiyoi  
Silverstonedragon  
Akane Mosoa  
Cryofthewolf  
Culebra del Sol  
HouseMD93  
Doc. K-9  
dracon867  
Moka Mcdowell  
VGZ  
Oirarana  
Nightmares Around Winter  
chuck17  
Son Of A Wolf  
Daniel Lynx  
Sibjisibdi  
sleepwhenyourdead1989  
BackwardsHazard  
Hunter200007  
Zagger the Bloody Angel  
Zen Rinnegan  
Duochanfan  
alice the noble  
Zagger the Bloody Angel  
BRD man  
nano101  
ShotgunWilly  
EternalKnight219  
deadak  
Idiote  
AkumaKami64  
loki0191  
konoha's Nightmare  
zrodethwing  
ursineus  
KamenRiderNexus  
neko-hikage-chan  
Project Slepnir  
Narora Senoku  
spider79  
ZloGlaZ

Erebus of the Banat  
belnonm

Tristan Blackheart

Xefix

dbzsotrum9

Nanna00

kired-reader

Kingswriter

hollyshortfowl

ChaosRaptorEye

The Infamous Man

Vampchick2010

THE Dark Dragen

26-Lord-Pain

Vail Ryuketsu

darkmatter13

forbiddenfruitunloved

lostandthedamned

EmperialGem21

Chiyo Asakura

SnakeHead85

Zediir

OccultAura

ZeroZangetsu

will1by2

Taullinis

dregus

rst64lc

Leaf Ranger

SaiyanShinobi

Dez Guardius

The Fifth Rider of Armageddon

KenthosTheKitsune


End file.
